It was Supposed to be Us

Sixteen

POV-Luke

(Same night Reggie and Luke broke up, right after Luke left Julie)

When I got back to Carlos and T.K's, I didn't see them anywhere. So I sat down at the counter and thought. My mind wasn't on the huge mistake I made, but instead on everything good I've ever done with him. It was like my life was flashing before my eyes again, except this time it focused on Reggie and all the good times. Christmas this year was the best night of my life. We went out to dinner as a couple, we met some fans, he gave me his gift. Which that song from the cave won't stop playing in my mind. His voice, the echos, the love in his eyes. It's honestly haunting me. I loved it, but it's hurting. And then after his song I got the chance to kiss him in public and I think that's what's haunting me the most. The fact that four or five days ago I was giving him everything he wanted and now we're not even going to be able to celebrate the new year together.

"Oh, Luke. You're back," Carlos chirped happily as he sat down next to me.

I nodded in reply, not really wanting to talk to anyone.

"So, I went and got that CD you told us about and gave it to you mom today," He told me, but I didn't reply. I wasn't even processing what he was saying. "She asked me to listen to it with her. It was a beautiful song. You're a great writer."

"Carlos," T.K called his name, trying to get his attention.

"What?" he asked.

"Look at the kid," T.K gestured toward me as he sat down. He put his arm around me and I leaned onto him.

"What's wrong?" T.K asked.

"Reggie," I replied.

"What happened?" Caros asked.

"We broke up," I said, sadness clearly lingering in my voice.

Both of them hugged me. And although it was comforting, it wasn't the same. I missed Reggie already and it's only been about twenty minutes. I missed his touch, his voice. I missed his presence. It's fucking killing me.

"When he ws sick earlier this year," I started telling a story. I don't know why, it just happened. "He wouldn't let go of me. No matter what I did, he'd cling to me like it was the end of the world. That night, he spent the whole night literally on top of me. And since he couldn't sleep and was constantly readjusting himself, he kept me up all night. Until about three in the morning. He finally fell asleep but still kept moving non stop. And so in the morning, when he woke up, he still clung to me, but laid next to me instead so I could sleep. That was probably the best night and day ever because he was acting like a little kid and it was cute."

T.K squeezed me tighter as the tears began falling from my eyes. I leaned into him and Carlos started rubbing circles onto my back.

"It's all my fault," I cried. "I'm so fucking stupid. I know how he feels about Julie and yet I went to her anyway. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I knew and know it wasn't and isn't right that I did. I didn't and don't have a valid reason for going. And there are no excuses. It's all my fault that he's gone. And he's probably never coming back."

T.K and Carlos both tried to tell me it wasn't my fault and that everything was going to be okay, but I knew better. It was my fault and I had no idea what I could do to make it okay again. As far as I know, Reggie would never forgive me for going behind his back. I did technically lie to him. I said I was going for a walk and I stayed the whole day at Julie's.

I felt like absolute shit, but I guess T.K and Carlos were making it better. I don't think I deserve this ammount of kindness with the way I treated Reggie today.