It was Supposed to be Us

EPILOGUE

(Mentions of Suicide)

Febuary 14th, 2022

POV-April Rowland (yes, she married Carson Rowland, but Carson is in the Navy and April is in the Air Force, so Carson isn't going to be mentioned at all. Yes, this also means that technically April, Reggie, Luke, Alex, and Carolynn are siblings-in-law. Don't think too long about it.)

I got stationed in L.A this time. A perfect excuse to go visit my mom, and brothers' graves. I miss my mom, and usually I'm in Europe so I'm beyond happy to return home. I left when I was twenty and now I'm thirty. I haven't seen her in ten years. I haven't visited my brothers' graves in about ten years as well and I feel so guilty about it.

Carlos, T.K, Athena, and all of them keep telling me stories about my brothers, but everytime I see them, I get new stories and whenever I see my mom, she tells the same ones.

They died when they were nineteen and I hate that I can't remember them. I've listened to all their demos and met Willie, too, before he comitted suicide. But it's not the same as meeting them in real life.

Mom always tells me about mine and Reggie's relationship and how I practically warshipped him. She said he was my favorite. She never failed to tell me about their last Christmas and the gift they got her. That story always makes me upset because they sound so amazing and it makes me miss them. She also explained how Luke and Reggie were together and ended up getting married. And Alex liked to stay out of the house because Reggie and Luke made him uncomfortable.

Their old apartment is still exactly the way it was when they died. Mom goes in there and cleans it three times a week. Keeping the dust off their instruments, pictures, and records. She washes all their unused dishes and wipes down every counter. She washes their sheets, makes their beds, and puts everything back exactly where it goes. Of course, the house is still a mess because she wants it exactly the way they left it.

I have their house memorized and it pains me watching Mom clean it all the time. Every day the item changes, but I've seen her crying on the couch, on Luke's side of the bed, on Reggie's side of the bed, and on Alex's bed. I've seen her crying holding plates, cups, forks, spoons, and knives. Wiping off pictures of my brothers with me. That whole place is a memory booby trap, but she refuses to sell it. I've tried to get her to do it many times, but nothing convinced her. She says they still need it. I don't think they need it, I think she wants it. She bought it the day it went on the market. I don't want to take her sons away from her, though. So I don't say anything to her about it anymore.

I was getting off the plane and Carlos was going to be picking me up. It took me all of thirty seconds to find him and his fiancé, T.K.

"Hey guys!" I greeted them. "I got two weeks before I have to go to base. So you all better not make it boring."

"Hey April!" Carlos gave me a hug.

"You remind me so much of Reggie," T.K sighed.

"Well, I guess we were tight when I was little," I smiled.

We walked out to the car and when we got in, the backseat felt a little cramped. I was the only one there, but for some reason it felt like the other two seats were taken. Not to mention Carlos kept looking in the rear view mirror, but not at me. I couldn't tell if he was looking at the empty seats next to me or the road behind us, but he kept looking. And both of them would occasionally laugh quietly to themselves even though nothing was said and the radio wasn't being funny. It was just playing an Elton John song.

We pulled up to my mom's apartment building and I thanked Carlos and T.K before going up to my home.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.