Thranduil: *throws cape onto throne* Well, I'm back.
Maeron: I will inform your son, sire.
Thranduil: Oh, no need for that. I'm sure that--
*doors burst open*
Legolas: Do you have any idea what I've been through??
Thranduil: ...oh, my.
Legolas: *annoyed* I tried to teach calming techniques to that one dwarf and....
Thranduil: *mildly* I told you you couldn't reason with them.
Legolas: Well, I won't try that again at any rate.
Thranduil: What else did I miss?
Legolas: Oh, nothing. Just me crying in a corner.
Thranduil: *concerned* Really?
Legolas: Almost, okay? Almost.
Thranduil: Well, Arwen says Elrond's doing fine, if you were wondering.
Legolas: *crossly* When is he not doing fine??
Thranduil: Would you be fine if your only daughter hooks up with some mortal man-of-the-mountains? That's why I think she said he was at the Healing River Resort and Spa for the weekend?
Legolas: Oh, yeah, I remember when Elladan told me about Arwen and Aragorn!
Thranduil: Poor Elrond. That's like if you had a thing with some girl from Rohan or something.
Legolas: ...ew. Why would I do that?
Thranduil: Who knows. I would disown you, of course....Kids these days...
Legolas: *rolls eyes* Well, that's not happening. Anyway, here's your schedule. *hands him scroll*
Thranduil: *eyes widen as he reads* TWO?? Legolas, I can't interrogate two dwarves in one day! I'll disintegrate!
Legolas: *grins* But then you'll get it over with more quickly!
Thranduil: *doubtfully* I suppose...
Legolas: *satisfied* Bring him in, Maeron.
Maeron: *bows, opens doors*
Dori: *walks in interestedly* ...and the supporting arches...Just beautiful!
Thranduil: Admiring the architecture, are we?
Dori: I must admit, the craftsmanship is superb.
Legolas: Finally, a dwarf who appreciates it.
Thranduil: *amused* I agree. Well, we're off to a good start so far. Legolas, you didn't tell me they progressively got more civilized.
Legolas: *irritated* They don't. It was luck of the draw.
Dori: Well, I don't suppose we can get started? It's getting dark out.
Legolas: How would you know? We're underground!
Dori: Dwarves, you see, we have internal clocks. Helps keep the time when we're mining for gold, deep in our mines.
Thranduil: Great. Fab. I don't care, we get started when I want, not when you want.
Dori: Fine. There's no need to panic.
Thranduil: Nobody's panicking. I'm honestly just at the end of my tether with you lot.
Dori: Funny, I actually haven't done anything.
Legolas: Don't you start, dwarf. The King must suffer two of you today and he is in no mood to banter.
YOU ARE READING
What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood
FanfictionThorin Oakenshield and Co. show up in Mirkwood. But after being arrested, the sassy Elvenking and his son have a few words for them.