Legolas: Do you like, need anything or something?
Thranduil: I need you to stop saying "like" and use good grammar, thanks.
Legolas: *scowls* I was trying to be nice, I was sorry I made you do two interrogations today.
Thranduil: Was? Oh, dear me, don't let's be disagreeable, hmm?
Legolas: *tiredly* Shall I call them in now, then?
Thranduil: May as well.
*5 min later*
Thranduil: *snickers* Nice hair.
Nori: It's an art.
Thranduil: Painting is an art. Your hair is a disaster.
Legolas: Or a fossilised starfish.
Nori: Alright, you yellow mongrel, what do you want with me.
Thanduil: Do... not... speak... to... me... like... that... ever... again....*struts up to him* Is...that...clear?
Legolas: Nice job.
Nori: Nice attitude.
Thranduil: *sighs* I knew you were trouble when you walked in!
Legolas: Isn't that a song?
Thranduil: Yes, about this insolent wretch. *looks annoyed* So, do you have any information other than you showed up with Gandalf, who left, you were hungry, Thorin used all his arrows trying to hit a stag which would have resulted in his immediate execution, you ran into some spiders, and "because we were starving"?
Nori: *pleasantly* No, not really.
Thranduil: Great. I would love to kick you out right now but the guards are on supper break.
Legolas: It's that late already!? Heavens, Ada, just go get some more guards!
Thranduil: That requires me physically leaving the room, something I certainly won't do as this one is a known thief.
Legolas: Oh, right, Gloín mentioned that.
Thranduil: There you have it.
Legolas: But I have my gold embossed bow with me! And what about your crown?
Thranduil: I'd like to see him try. Besides, I'm wearing it. No dwarf in his right mind could even reach my crown.
Legolas: True. Well, Nori--that is what they call you, right?
Nori: I suppose.
Thranduil: Elrond mentioned in his last letter "a dwarf with starfish hair"
Legolas: *chokes* His name could be Elfin.
Thranduil: Star-hair? *snorts* Well, it is quite literal.
Nori: *grunts angrily* Don't insult my style!
Legolas: Nice style, Elfin.
Nori: Don't speak your horrid language to me!
Legolas: Oh, apologies. *makes a bunch of incoherent noises*
Thranduil: Legolas, what in Arda are you doing?
Legolas: Sorry, I was attempting to speak Dwarvish.
Thranduil: Sounds about right.
Nori: Oh, Mahal.
Legolas: Don't you "Oh, Mahal" me! You know he's actually one of the Valar.
Nori: I'm going to ignore you.
Thranduil: Well, that's nice. Since it looks like we'll be here awhile--hold on.
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What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood
FanficThorin Oakenshield and Co. show up in Mirkwood. But after being arrested, the sassy Elvenking and his son have a few words for them.