Half A Heartbeat Away

04

•Milena Blackford•

"You may kiss the bride" the priest said and it was at this exact moment specifically that my heart leaped out of my chest and ran away from me without permission. I swallowed down my breath in utmost terror and shaking plus quaking nerves. I was about to kiss a man I didn't know, that being in front of a whole crowd that consisted of mostly unrecognizable faces for me. Technically, he was my legal husband, but still it didn't help much to quiet down my fears and unnerve me.

My breathing quickens as he lifts my veil and it's as if he pulls the air out of my lungs along with the fabric. He's tall. Super tall, so much that I have to crane my neck in order to look him in the eyes. Don't show fear, don't show fear. I repeated in my head religiously like a helpless prayer made specifically for a helpless prey, though truthfully, I was falling apart at the seams. His opal eyes remained unbothered icy cold while my innocent browns searched his face ceaselessly; for what, I'm not myself sure.

Finally, he neared, his breath hitting my face in calm cool waves of mint, and he closes his lips around my cheek in a gentle, delicate peck that I could've sworn it was a caress by the blue waves. Ever so gentle that I wondered if my mind conjured it up or if it really did happen. It took me by surprise. I'm drowning. I'm burning from overheat. He retreats gracefully further a bit to his previous stance and I can see others clapping and cheering, but they all fade into the background as he becomes all I can see in this moment, his gentle lips leaving my cheek ablaze was all I could think about. I turn my face, my undoubtedly hotly red face, and try to zone this night out of my head, with all the embarrassment it entailed thus far.

Soon, I was engulfed in the tight hands of my mother as she came to congratulate me. I was lost, what exactly is there to congratulate me for? The wedding I didn't ask to be a part of but was thrusted into without a choice? Regardless of the pettiness I felt towards my parents about the saddening circumstance, I placed my hands around her dainty figure and hugged her back, much needing the support.

Miguel was next when he engulfed me in his arms tightly, cutting off my blood flow for a brief second. Not that I minded, I reveled in the heat of his hug for a good minute wishing I couldn't leave the safe haven of his embrace. I could see his glossy eyes as he fought back the tears that were about to escape. Regardless of all our bickering and fighting, we love each other endlessly like any siblings would, I'd say even more so if possible.

His eyes reflect back to my neck, where the precious necklace he gifted me before the ceremony hung elegantly from. It was simple but symbolized so much, the undeclared love between us too. That no matter what my last name spelled like, I'm still his little sister, and it'll never change. The necklace held a significant place in my heart; if anything were to happen to it, I truthfully wouldn't know what to do.

My dad kissed my forehead, although it felt forged and coldly distant in more than a way, I accepted with no apparent objection because I desperately wanted -or needed- this night to end already. Exhausted was an understatement by this time of the evening. All I wanted to do was bury myself underneath the duvet and sleep unbothered for the eternity to follow.

Beckham, I had funnily come to learn his name through the ceremony, neared me. His unmistakable scent engulfed my senses and he bent down slightly to whisper in my ear.

"Come on a bit" He says and chills run down my spine at his words, or the extreme proximity of his mouth to the shell of my ear. Or candidly both. His large hand engulfed mine as he started dragging me somewhere with him. To where exactly, I was clueless as a gulping goldfish. I felt my heart accelerate majorly as we neared a distanced darkened looking room. We were far from the eyes of others as they drank cheerfully, danced freely and chatted loudly. My heart nearly bursted out of my chest -for the second time- when he opened the door and we went inside. Surely, this can't be it, right?