Half A Heartbeat Away

31

•Milena Blackford•

"What do you mean no?" I ask incredulously.

"I said what I said. I had a really bad day today and I'd appreciate it if you don't fight me on everything now" He says meanwhile opening the door for his room with his elbow, his hands full of..me. His body and mind were strained and it was evident that he's had his fair share of dealing with the world and it's conspicuous never ending problems for today.

"Ok, I'm honestly tired too and don't want to fight now. Just so you know, Lily really missed you today, she kept asking for you and when you're coming home. Just make sure to make it up to her tomorrow" I instruct as he drops me on my side of the bed while he sighs, stepping away as he starts unbuttoning his shirt while stepping into the closet room, searching for a fresh comfy t-shirt.

In the time being, I take the opportunity to climb under the smooth silky sheets. My head rests against the all too familiar stuffy pillows. It's unbearably weird..the last week I've slept on this mattress more than I did on my own. Not that I was complaining or anything of the sort, the room was vast beyond what a normal bedroom usually is and spacious to no limits. The bed was comfy as much as sleeping on a cloud. The sheets were the perfect mixture of cold but warm, and they always smelled of him and his musky aftershave. Plus, waking up to Beckham in the morning was an added bonus.

"I know. I've just had this super rough day at work. I-I'll be gone most of tomorrow too, but I'll try and see what I can do" He declares and my head starts pounding for viable questions. Maybe I thought wrong. By the sound of his graveled low voice, he's really been dealing with hardships at work and it completely slipped his mind. Maybe he forgot about it.

He slips next to me after he's changed, and I see the stress visibly exuding his body. He must be exhausted. My eyes soften at the sight of the man in front of me. The tiredness was showing. It was clear he was trying his hardest to keep strong.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I offer in the dead of the night. By the lack of movement or response at first, I would've assumed he was asleep, but I knew he wasn't. He was too burdened, his shoulders weighing down even with him laying horizontally beside me I could still see it.

"I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear about it, it's fine, just go to sleep" His dismissal awakened something in me. I was hurt to think he'd assume I was asking him out of pity or niceties instead of genuine concern. I was genuinely curious how his day went. How many idiots have bothered him at work for silly matters, and how he handled every once of them as the ultimate boss he definitely is.

"No, I want to hear about your day..but if you don't want to tell me that's fine" I smile halfheartedly and turn to face the other side to hide my sheer disappointment. Although I'm not sure I did a good job of hiding it from my tone. It's totally fine. He didn't want to talk and I wasn't about to coerce him into it.

It was merely a second later that I was pulled back to face the other way. I look into his eyes, they seem closer than ever "it's ok" I try to reassure him and turn again but he kept me facing his way by holding my hands with his. Intertwining our fingers together, I look down at our joined hands and it's a sizzling sound that mitigates at his touch. It's like a shovel is digging inside my rib cage. I've never felt like this before.

I wonder if he feels it too.

I don't know what I'm feeling, or why I'm suddenly staring into his eyes all that deeply or why my heart dies with each gentle squeeze his long fingers press into mine. "It was one of the challenging days at work. A shipment worth millions got stolen, a warehouse was infiltrated and we still haven't found out who was behind it" He sighs as if reliving the day over again. It must've felt outstandingly awful to deal with all of that on top of the nature of what he does.

"You know you'll catch them sooner or later. You just have to be patient and keep up the hard work" I try to lift up his mood. I had no clue what else I could say to make him feel better. I didn't want to tell him that all will be alright tomorrow and seem like an idiot or a non compassionate spouse.

"That's not all. I mean all of this sucks but it's not the main reason why I'm mad" He then let out on a whim..like he wasn't meant to spill that out onto the open.

"Then what is?" I ask calmly. If all of the previous wasn't the main reason for why he's stressed, then it probably was something big and bad that got him all riled up. It worried me.

"I, um, I also got a note saying to watch out"

"I don't get it? How is that su-"

"The note specifically said for you and the kids to watch out" He says lastly and I freeze looking at him. Who wanted to harm us? Why would they want to do that? We were basically innocent and had nothing to do with this monstrous world and its chaos.

"I-i- have you upped security on the kids? Beck, I don't think I can take it if anything happens to them. They need to be protected" My eyes glisten with unshed tears. The thought of my babies being in danger put me automatically on defense mode. My hand subconsciously grabs his tighter while his thumb draws circles on my skin.

"Yes; I've upped security all around the house for you and the kids. I don't think I can take it if anything happens to any of you".

"I-I'm scared" I confess truthfully after a moment of dreadful silence. I'd be lying if I said I could be indifferent to this. How can I ignore the possibility of someone threatening the safety of my children? I knew in this moment that I'd do anything in my powers to keep them safe and sound.

"Come here" Beckham opens his arms and I needn't be told twice before I scurry closer and bury myself into his open embrace. "I know. I am too, but we'll figure it out. I promise" He reassures me and I nod in his chest, the smell of his cologne calming me down.

His free hand that's not holding me shoots out to play with my hair. The action soothes me immediately, coaxing my melting nerves into calmness, making me grab his shirt in a fistful in order to tug him even closer to me and diminish the space between us to zero. It was then proven that I felt safe in his strong hold. No matter what I was feeling, if I was mad at him or confused by him or anything, there was no denying that being in his arms serenaded me into a world of security; even if it was for a brief single moment. It was enough so my eyelids can close and sleep would finally take over.