Half A Heartbeat Away

22

•Milena Blackford•

Days passed by and the main event was that one evening, besides chattering nonsensically and mumbling, Soir upgraded from his crawling, that slowly but surely turned into standing. It was a usual phase in the life of a one year old infant, but we couldn't help but feel the proudest ever.

We were sitting on the couch one night watching a movie while he was on the carpet playing with his toys. He had been making attempts into trying to stand up while holding onto the leg of the couch and the table, but we didn't think he'd move onto real walking this fast. His little legs were wobbling on the carpeted floor and it was the cutest thing ever to see him stumbling around.

Beckham and I had turns in offering support and stabilizing him and encouraging him to try and take actual steps for some time, even Lily had joined in on the efforts under our surveillance. Together, we all watched him take his first steps with heart eyes that lit with insurmountable amounts of joy.

To celebrate that and Lily's outstanding accomplishments at kindergarten, as she was also bringing back beautiful drawings of things and people and scenery -that I had definitely started hanging on the fridge in complete awe and utter pride- we decided to have a night out. The plan basically consisted of having pizza and then ice cream as promised later on.

Beckham had to triple check his schedule and "arrange things" in order for us to go out. My bet is that he wanted to up the security since we don't usually all go out together. At least not with the kids. Him being a mafia boss and all that, it was nothing but acceptable and understandable that he made sure his family was safe when in public; especially the tender aged kids.

I had a mini mental breakdown in my room earlier as of what to wear. The weather wasn't extremely chilly but not hot to my knowledge so I alternated between hot and cold outfits in my mind. After rummaging through my closet like a thousand times over, I had finally settled on a nice warm brown dress that had full puffy sleeves and reached my mid thigh.

I haven't dressed up and did glamorous makeup in a while and I kind of missed that. Also, partially because I wanted to impress Beckham a little and give him something to think about for later. Was it that bad on my part? Probably.

I was developing the teeniest tinest bit of a crush on him. But how could I not? He was beyond handsome. He was gentle and caring. Understanding and supportive. Plus he was good with the kids.

I know that he probably doesn't see me that way. Especially since the death of his ex-wife and the ambiguous circumstances of our union. He was a freaking mafia boss. Why would he want me? He could have anyone he wanted, it was that easy for him. I was simply here to look after the kids and pretend to be his wife in public. Pretend. Not actually play the part. But my mind was getting jammed with all the time we spend together -both alone and with the kids-, the times I look up to stare at him only to find him already looking at me with those deadly eyes I've developed dreams about them at night. My heart explodes in my chest whenever we're too close, and I fight off the overwhelming urge to embarrass myself by stuttering or dysfunctioning like a run down computer in front of him. It was pathetic, really.

I had just finished curling the last section of my hair when I heard steps. A few moments later I grab my purse while walking out of the bathroom and see Beckham in a black dress shirt and sleek pants, while he kept the first two buttons open, making him look more hot and irresistible than he already definitely was. Besides, did I forget to mention that he had damp soft hair that was messily sitting on his head. I look up from my stare into his eyes to find them analyzing me from head to toe like I did him. His face was emotionless, so I couldn't tell if he liked what he saw or despised it.

"Are you ready?" He asks me after a moment of silence passed between us. I nod while tightening my grip on my purse. My nerves were all over the place.

"Yeah, I'm done. I just need to dress Lily and Soir up properly and we'll be ready to leave" I say while starting to make my way out of the room. Did I mention I was in high heels that added five inches to my hight? I mean, I was still shorter than Beck by a few inches, but now I could be eye level with him without having to crane my neck upwards. I was like on chin level now instead of chest level, so the change was nice.

"I got them ready, they're downstairs. We were just waiting on you to get ready" He says and I stop in my place. He got the kids and himself ready? Ok, it surely was nice having an extra set of hands to help around.

"Really?" I ask as I begin to near him.

"Yeah" He says and looks at his watch before stuffing his hand in pants pocket. It just showed off his hands -the veins that popped out- and watched me carefully as I stood in front of him.

I reach my hand forward and tame his damp locks between my fingers, combing them gently to the side. He doesn't say anything though I can see his eyes on my face. He smelled heavenly of expensive cologne and musk. I was standing close, too close since I sensed the heat of his chest bouncing off to mine.

After a few charged moments of playing around with his hair and finally being satisfied with the final result, I retract my hand back to my side, offer him a genuine smile "There, all done. We can go now". He doesn't say anything and just follows behind me silently as we descend down the stairs.

I find the living room lit up with the screening of the tv, Lily and Soir on the couch watching cartoon while patiently waiting for us. I see them both dressed up in nice outfits and can't help the smile that shows up on my face at the thought of Beckham spending the time to pick them out himself. He did all of that in under half an hour. He was a natural for sure.

With that, I picked up Soir, while Lily stood up and held Beckham's hand and as we started walking I could feel his empty hand dart out and rest on the middle of my back, keeping me to his side. I got chills from my neck down to my spine at his touch and my breath hitched in my chest but I busied myself with caressing a mumbling Soir to calm myself down and keep my legs from giving out on me.

His touch on my back felt hot but chilling at the same time, It was hard to explain, but I've never felt this way before. I just kept reminding myself to take deep breaths and carry on until we reach the car. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him looking straight ahead and I wondered if he knew just what a mere touch of his did to me, or was he that clueless?