Half A Heartbeat Away

09

•Beckham Blackford•

Reaching home quite late, I opened the front door to a quietness that took me aback. The lights were mostly turned off except the ones in the living room, where a flickering proceeded. I unbutton my jacket and lay it on the side of the sofa, right next to the sleeping figures of Milena and Lily.

By the bright cartoons on the tv, I guessed they've been watching a Disney movie, they both cuddled on the couch under a frizzy blanket, appearing to be asleep. Not going to lie, they did look super adorable squished together.

I grab the remote and turn the tv off, then contemplate about how to get them to move upstairs. Do I carry Lily and then Milena? Do I wake her up? Do I not? How long have they been asleep for? Surely, Soir was out like a light in his room at this time.

I gently peel the blanket off of them, finding them both in their pajamas that consisted of shirts and shorts. I try to untangle Lily from Milena without waking her up, but the two seem inseparable. Just when I had a good grip and were about to lift her off, Milena's eyes open and she jumps back a little in surprise.

"H-hi, what's the time?" She starts rubbing her eyes and stretching from her position. I grab Lily completely and lift her up so she cuddles in my chest.

"It's almost 10 p.m." I say and she only nods looking at me while her eyebrows furrow in the midst of taking me in. Is there something wrong? I wanted to bloody ask her but refrained.

I start moving towards the stairs while she follows me closely like a lost puppy.
"Do you want me to take her from you? I can tuck her into bed". She offered in her sleepy face, running her hand through her dark locks in order to tame her messy hair.

"It's ok, we'll tuck her together, or I can do it if you want to go and sleep" I say turning my head back in the slightest, seeing a small blush crept its way into her cheeks.

"We can tuck her in together, plus, I need to check up on Soir. He's been sleeping for almost two hours" She mumbles and I remain quiet as we reach the kids' room.

She brushes by me to open the door, and I step into the room and carefully lay Lily on her bed. She snuggles into it, pulling the sheets closer to her frame. Next is the little infant on the other side of the room. I notice Milena standing next to his cot, adjusting the tiny blanket around him. I come and stand next to her, bending down to kiss his forehead, then we start to head back to the hallway. I don't miss the small smile on her lips.

What? She thought I was an amazing dad because I was here to kiss his forehead in his sleep? I barely feel present in their lives. I only see them briefly in the mornings and barely at nights. If anything, I felt terrible with myself. This whole topic was taking a toll on my mind.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair while rolling my shoulders. Today was super stressful and I felt the tension rolling off me in waves.

Then comes her gentle lay of a hand on my back "Hey, what's wrong?" She asks, worry etched on her features. I sigh and rub my face "Nothing, just a hectic day" I say as we shuffle out of the room into the hallway.

She nods "Are you hungry? I can make you something quick" She offers in a cheery voice, clearly trying to lift my sour mood.

I shake my head "No, thank you. I'm not hungry" I refuse politely and she retreats her hand, crossing her arms on her chest while pouting "Of course you're not, you must've eaten at your girlfriend's". I don't think she meant to stammer it out loud for me to hear. The look of sheer bewilderment on her face was enough to suggest she hadn't meant to say it to my face.

This got my interest. What was she talking about? What girlfriend? What was she on about?

I pin her to the wall and she squeals in surprise "I-i hadn't meant to say that out loud" She says evading my eyes. We were chest to chest and she was a couple of inches shorter than me, that I had to bend down in order to get a look at her face

"It's clear you hadn't, but you still did think it, mind me asking why?" My arms were on either side of her, caging her in, but not quite touching.

"You umm, had a different suit on this morning" She confessed eyeing my dark blue suit, and the red tinge was fast to coat her cheeks. She looked everywhere but my eyes.

So she was jealous? She thinks I had been sleeping with someone else? A supposed girlfriend to be specific? She hadn't known that I barely have time to sleep, never mind having a full on affair. Not that I was interested in the first place.

I trail my hand to her dark locks, my breath hitting her face as I make sure to be leveled with her "Are you jealous, Lena?" I taunt her. She shakes her head furiously no, her eyebrows raising at the new name, but it doesn't convince me.

"I-I'm not jealous, why would I be?" She keeps denying, although it's so crystal clear on her face.

"Are you sure?" I trail my hand to her neck, caressing the skin softly, "You wouldn't be jealous if I was having an affair?" I tilted my head to get a better look at her face.

Her eyes looked up "Well, are you?" She mumbles so lightly, I might've missed it if I weren't paying attention. She bit her lower lip expectantly and the action drove me crazy.

"Why would I when I have the prettiest wife waiting for me at home?" Shock is evident in her eyes that search mine frantically, moving from one eye to the other like trying to decipher me. Almost as frantic as her ragged breathing. I use my thumb to release her bottom lip from between her teeth.

"You have to get one bloody thing through your head. I'm not this type of man. I do not cheat, no matter what. But especially not, if I have a gorgeous girl waiting up on me at home" Her eyes dilate, her browns becoming cosmos that suck everything in. Myself included; shamelessly.

"I had to go down to the warehouse, to torture and kill someone. My suit was dirtied in blood. You wouldn't like me walking into the house like that, no?" I ask and she shakes her head no slowly.

"So, I took a shower in my office and had my clothes changed" I finish off the story. She seemed to visibly relax, signaling that she believed me. Good, I was telling the bloody truth.

We had shifted closer and closer throughout the whole encounter, that we were now only centimeters apart. If I dare take one little step forward, we'd be kissing. She appeared to realize the same thing.

We stared at each other's eyes endlessly, both contemplating whether to take that small step and close the agonizing distance between our lips. Just as I was about to give in and near her, a sound of crying reached my ears as we both stepped away from each other.

She shuffled to her legs a couple feet away from me, panting, as Soir was undoubtedly flailing in tears in his bed. We shared a look and I started walking towards his room.

"I got him, you can go and sleep" I announce and she hesitates for a moment, lingering by my side.

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"Yeah, good night" I tell her and hear a 'good night' before I continue through to his room hoping Lily hadn't woken up, and she scatters to her room.