Half A Heartbeat Away

12

•Milena Blackford•

After a short, but nonetheless, still a very awkward car ride with Hans, he dropped us off at my parents' house. He insisted to stay outside and wait for us even though I assured him we were fine. Guess Beckham told him to not leave. I offered that he come in, but he declined politely.

I left him to his pack of cigarettes and together, Lily, Soir and I entered the all too familiar manor. Well, all too familiar to me, it's their first time here.

My mom whom was talking to a maid, stopped mid speech and ran off in my direction "Hey sweetie, I'm so glad you made it, I missed you so much" She side hugged me, given that I was still carrying Soir in my arms.

She guides me to the couch in the living room and I settle in comfortably. It usually was buzzing at this hour, so I found it strange that the living room -and the house in general- was empty and there wasn't the usual shuffle.

She eyes the kids warily, with a tight smile on her face "Care to introduce us?" She asks and I nod happily.

"Mom, this is Lily, and this is Soir" I say the last part while gesturing to the infant in my hands.

"Such beautiful names for beautiful children" She coos and then gets up abruptly to call for a maid. She requests for them to make juice and to bring toys for the kids to entertain themselves while staying here.
She offered to have them move to the playroom upstairs, but I refused, not liking the idea of them being out of my sight.

The maids set a blanket and many many toys in the corner of the room and I released Soir while Lily ran to the toys. I was glad they found it amusing.

"How have you been doing?" She asks me all of a sudden, and here I thought we already skipped the greetings and got it all done with.

I clear my throat, sink in my seat at the couch and answer honestly "I've been doing good. I missed you guys. Even Miguel" I finish off with a light laugh hoping to uplift the atmosphere.

"Where is he by the way?" I ask for my brother. Out of everyone, surprisingly, he's the one I miss the most. As much as we fought, we were inseparable.

"He's in the office with your father, business as usual, you know" I nod at her sorrowful tone. She's been married to my dad for over twenty five years. You'd think she got used to how things are.

"Anyways, how is life, how are you finding the kids?" My eyes dart to them at the corner of the room playing, a smile appears involuntarily on my face. They've become such a huge part of my life in such a short period of time.

"They're great. I love them so much" I respond truthfully. She stares at me suspiciously and I evade her penetrating gaze. I hope she doesn't ask about -

"And your husband?"

"He's good mom" I mutter. My mind drifted to Beckham, what was he doing now? Was he still sorting documents or has he moved on to torturing and killing people? Today he skipped breakfast, did he have the time to eat something? Why was I even thinking about this in the first place? I forced my thoughts to quiet down.

Moreover, what was this? International interrogation day? I hated people meddling in my private business. I knew my mom meant well, she only worried about me. But it didn't mean she could stuff her nose in my personal life like a detective.

She must've sensed the look on my face, since she clasped her hands together and spoke next "I'm sorry honey for sounding so up in your alley. I-it's just that I worry about you so much. Things happened fast and I haven't seen you in like forever and-" She blabbers on and on and guilt sinks in my stomach. I know she only meant well.

"I know mom, and I appreciate you worrying for me but I'm fine, I'm doing well" I assure her and she smiles tightly, her eyes softening up a bit.

Our emotional mother-daughter moment is interrupted by someone barging in. My face lights up like the sun when he saunters in the room, straight up to me, until he crushes my bones with his ever tight hug.

I giggle but push him off slightly "Get up, you're choking me of air, Miguel" I exasperate and he tightens his hold on me for a millisecond before releasing me.

"How come you're here? God, even though it's been like what? Weeks? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever" He admits and my heart coos at the adorableness. It's just wholesome.

I ruffle his curls and chuckle "I missed you too buddy" I say and then he takes a look at the kids. After introducing him to them they seem to have clicked like a lock.

He lifts up Soir in his lap and tugs Lily onto his knee and starts interacting with them like they're his own. A good hour goes by with him knowingly ignoring us to play with them. Who could blame him? I would've totally done the same.

"Where is your father?" Mom directs her question at Miguel, whom bites his cheek and shrugs "He's still in his office, reviewing papers and what not" He suffices and she smiles sadly. I can see her eyes dim a bit. Honestly, it seems like they have time management and negligence problems that need to be solved as soon as possible.

My mind drifts off to the far future, is this how I'll spend the rest of my life? On the sidelines watching life go by, while Beckham does what he does not caring for my existence? The idea unsettles my stomach and that mixed with the heavy breakfast I had this morning, plus the whole PMS situation, are all a good enough reason for me to dart to the bathroom to puke my guts out.

I excuse myself swiftly and jog to the nearest bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach. Luckily, it wasn't anything major. A few moments later, I rose to my full height, rinsed my mouth and washed my face and then walked out collected.

When I go back to my seat, I don't miss the suspicious glances mom and Miguel are having. I check the children to see them submerged in their own little world of legos and coloring notebooks to pay attention to us.

I lower my voice "What?" I ask them crossing my arms on my chest, looking at them unimpressed.

"Could you be umm, is it possible that you're.." My mom starts off looking slightly embarrassed to even entertain the thought, let alone say it aloud in front of my older brother. I grit my teeth "No. I'm not pregnant, mom. I ate something earlier that probably provoked my stomach" I clarify but they don't seem to believe me entirely.

What should I do? Pull out a freaking ultrasound machine to show them that the only thing there is in my tummy is food? Beckham and I haven't even— I'm not finishing that sentence. No one has to know what goes on in our personal life.

Miguel clenches his jaw "Are you sure? Beckham isn't doing anything that you don't want? You know if he does I'll pull up and-" He starts threatening and I raise a hand briefly to cut him off.

"Woah, chill there. No. He isn't doing anything. I assure you he's been nothing but respectful towards me" I interject and squeeze his arm beside me lightly "Really" I say looking him in the eyes. He seemed hesitant at first but then decided to take my word for it. Thankfully, the maid walked in announcing that lunch is ready and we steered away from that calamitous topic for the rest of the day.