Half A Heartbeat Away

05

•Beckham Blackford•

She's only 20. God, what have I done? I knew she would be young, she had to be with the way she looked like a tiny porcelain doll and all, but I didn't think we'd have an 11 year gap between us. If I were a few years older, I could've passed as her father. The thought somehow makes me unbearably sick in the stomach just merely thinking about it.

I make it to my room at the end of this eventful, exhausting day, wanting nothing more than to lie down and go to sleep peacefully. I take a quick shower and exit the bathroom to find my phone ringing loudly. I pick it up -trapping it between my shoulder and ear- while simultaneously walking towards the closet hunting systematically for a shirt and sweatpants.

"Hello" Seeing it's my left hand man, I let out into the device calmly but impatiently, still balancing the phone on my shoulder while picking out comfortable clothing from the closet.

"It took quite the while to reach you, are you sure I'm not interrupting something?? Huh?" Comes out the ultimately annoying but slightly teasing voice of he who calls himself the closest thing to being my best friend; Dano. I clear my throat as a response and roll my eyes at his childish teasing accusation.

"What is it that you want?" I demand grumpily while searching through the closet. I can hear his lighthearted snort through the phone and it's expression is painted in my mind automatically.

"Ooh, feisty, aren't we? Anyways, I hope your new wife won't hate me from stealing you from her, at this time especially given you know what, bu—" He starts chatting nonsensically while my patience evaporates gradually, ounce by ounce with each ludicrous word that falls out of his idiotic mouth.

"Spit. It. Out" I order in a deep threatening tone that guarantees his posture acutely straightening, moreover, eyes perceptually widening. I couldn't actually see him, but I bet my money on it.

"Well, umm, I think we found a lead on, on you know what.." He starts in an awkward unsure tone, I could tell it was difficult for him to address my dead wife by her name and the heinous crime committed against her; maybe he did it out of respect or pity or even thoughtfulness. Thinking that by not mentioning her memory, I'll somehow forget about her. How could I ever? She was forever engraved in my heart. All I'm left with now is the hollowness in my chest.

"I'm on my way" I answered curtly; undeniably coldly, though at the same time, I can feel the blood in my veins boiling with burning red, uncontrollably with the blistering urge; the undeniable, uncontainable urge for vengeance.

"Well, yo-you don't have to come right now, today has been eventful for you. You can come tomor—" Dano explains to me on the other side of the phone, though it was too late since I was already changing into formal clothing and then out of my room and making my way towards the garage to get there as soon as I can.

"I said I'm on my way" With that I just hung up and exited through the side door, picked out a random car from the dozen resting on the asphalt floor, and drove swiftly and skillfully to the warehouse.

Upon arrival, I could tell my men were surprised to see me there. What did they think? That I'd get married and quit the mafia to live happily ever after? Were people that naïve? Anyways, I stride inside confidently, expression remaining stoic despite all the gaping and whispered murmuring and discreet looking casted my way.

"Hey, boss" Dano greets me once he sees me, his eyes raking through my look, taking me in from head to toe. Examining me as to spot a noticeable change that can be used to ridicule me.

"What?" I raise a suspicious brow. His actions had been getting weirder and weirder these last few weeks, I don't know what's up with him.

"Nothing" He surprisingly deflects and I decide not to push it, seeing we had more important stuff on our hands.

"So, what have we got?" I switch my tone from playful and light to serious and businesslike, reminded of the reason I've been called over here in the first place at the ungodly hour, that too on my wedding day, well, more like wedding night.

We spend the next few hours conversing about this new lead we have gotten. Someone who we deemed as unimportant at first glance, only to discover that he's linked to the black cartel. The biggest drug syndicate nowadays in the region. Now we're suspicious that they might have played a hand in orchestrating all of this, but we need proof in order to make such a ballsy statement. I've sent some of my men to dig up his info, and others for the purpose of surveillance. I needed to find something. Anything that can bring me a step closer to solving this crime and finding my wife's culprit.

By the end of this lengthy meeting, I make it home in the late hours of the dusky night. Again, wanting nothing more than to climb my into my bed peacefully and respectfully go to sleep. As I near my bedroom, the sound of movement reaches from the end of the hallway, where the door had been kept slightly open, I could tell shadows were moving around from my sight of view.

Given the fact that this is where the kids' room is, I start making my way there, knowing they'd most likely had a nightmare or woke up suddenly from their sleep as kids constantly love to do so. I wondered where Milena is, then upon second thought, I waved it off guessing she probably was fast asleep in her room.

As I got closer and closer, the sound of shuffling and movements resonated through the walls. I took light steps and prepared myself for every possible scenario in those brief moments, my hand slipping to my waist to take out the tucked in gun. To say I was surprised by the sight I saw when I entered, would be classified as an understatement.

There she was, the girl, my new wife, sat in a chair in the corner beside Lily's bed, while rocking a weeping Soir to sleep, at the same time, rubbing her hand slightly on Lily's shoulder and playing with her hair. I advanced closer to her, seeing the distress evident on her face, her leg bouncing with anxiousness. Soir wasn't calming down, making Lily thrash in her sleep at the verge of waking up.

"Give him to me" I tell her, seeing her jump slightly at my voice had me thinking I should've eased my way in first. She bites her lips and gets up handing him to me, relief washing her face.

"How long has he been crying for?" I ask rocking him back and forth on my shoulder, he doesn't quiet down at first.

"A few minutes" She answers standing in front of me in her pajamas, hair tied in a messy bun, crossing her hands on her chest awkwardly.

"If he's refusing to go back to sleep, it usually means one of two things: he's either hungry, or needs a change of diaper". I say as I turn and start making my way downstairs, tilting my head to the side, checking to see that she's indeed following me and not standing like a statue in the middle of their room.

"My bet's that he's hungry, because his diaper had been changed just before he went to sleep, and it still doesn't stink" I share as I walk into the kitchen. She stands a few feet away, helplessly, like she'd cut her fingers if she dared get nearer.

"How about you make his formula while I rock him?" I ask and she nods vigorously while getting started to heat the water up.

I sigh. It's looking like it's going to be the long kind of night.