The Bat Pets

Weeeellllll.....YOU DID IT!

"Huh," Garret said as he stared at the problem. 

"That's not good" Titus muttered. 

Titan frowned "I mean, it can't be that bad, right? Right Garret?" 

Garret looked at Titan "We could go to animal prison for this Titan." 

"Don't scare him, it's going to be fine" Titus said but he didn't sound convinced. 

Finally Garret blew up "How did this even happen?! How could you be so stupid!" He pointed at Titan "This is all your fault!" 

"What? No it isn't!" Titan exclaimed "If you hadn't distracted me this never would have happened!" 

"Me?!" Garret scoffed "Titus is the one who ran in front of me!" 

"I only ran in front of you because I was trying to help!" Titus said. 

"Some help you were!" Garret snapped. 

Pennyworth frowned "Everyone stop!" He exclaimed. Everyone looked at the little cat as he frowned "We all helped kill him and it was an accident but we all had a part in it." 

All of their eyes traveled to the man on the floor. 

It was the mailman. 

The chain of events that led up to this was extraordinary and unbelievable. 

Everyone was outside just playing like they normally do when the mailman showed up with a package addressed to Selina. (She just so happens to have this nasty habit of ordering things that weren't necessary). He was walking it to the front door, unable to see over it's width when Titan ran in front of him trying to chase a bird. At that moment Titus was going to tell Titan to look out but he stepped on Garret's tail which made him scream which led to Titan tripping onto the mailman. The man fell, slipped on the floor, dropped the package, and hit his head on the floor. He hadn't moved since it happened. 

The family was out except for Jason who was supposed to be watching the animals but the only thing he was watching was the TV. 

"So what do we do than?" Garret asked. 

Pennyworth thought then perked up "I'm sure Batcow has an idea! She's watched people fall all the time I'm sure!" 

They left Garret and Titus to watch the mailman while the rest of them ran down to the batcave. 

Batcow was enjoying her food when they all ran downstairs. 

"Batcow help!" Titan exclaimed as he jumped around her. "We killed someone!" 

"What?" She asked. 

Pennyworth explained and after she was quiet before she said "Hide him in the bushes until he either wakes up or someone finds him. Then act casual like you never knew him." Batcow had listed to Damian list off all the best ways to cover up a murder millions of times but since the animals didn't have a knife, much less thumbs, or even Mount Everest, she had to improvise. 

They stared at her and her plan. They honestly thought she would say something like "come clean" and "Honesty is the best policy" but no, she was ready to cover this death up! 

"Brilliant!" Pennyworth exclaimed. 

"This is why we go to you!" Titan said happily as they raced back up the stairs. 

They reported back to the other animals who all agreed this was the best course of action. The dogs did most of the work as they dragged the man over to some bushes where Garret tossed a few leaves over the man. 

They thought for a moment. 

"Should we say a few words?" Pennyworth asked. 

Garret's stomach growled and he turned "Nah, I'm hungry." 

"Me too!" Titan said as he ran inside. 

"Same" Titus said. 

They all went inside and got some food. That just so happened to be the time when Jason wanted to walk outside. 

Most of them returned back outside where he threw them a few toys. 

Titan, being the ADHD filled dog he is forgot about the whole thing so when he sniffed something unusual he barked and tracked it back to the man. 

"Titan you idiot!" Garret exclaimed. 

"What'd you find?" Jason asked as he walked over. 

Titan saw the body and remembered but at that point it was too late. Jason saw the legs then the rest of the mailman. 

He froze then glanced at the animals who all awkwardly looked around. Garret hit Titan who cleared his throat and found the tree very interesting. 

Jason blinked then sighed "I'll get my shovel. Dogs, if you help dig we can have him buried before Bruce gets back." 

But then the mailman groaned and his eyes opened before he sat up, rubbing his head. 

"What happened?" He groaned. 

The animal's jaws dropped and Jason's eyes almost popped. He almost laughed before he smiled and said "Oh hey there man, you kinda hit your head and passed out. Don't worry, you're fine." 

The man looked around "Oh, yeah I remember falling. Why am I under a bush?" 

Jason laughed nervously and said "Oh uh, I thought the shade would help revive you." 

"Oh, makes sense." The man said before he got up. 

Jason showed him to his car and waved as he drove away. 

He looked at the animals. "Next time you kill someone, get me immediately! Who hides a body under the front yard bush?" 

They were all happy that the man was fine and went inside for a long deserved nap. 

Jason of course, not one to be left out, napped with them. 

When Bruce and the others got home Bruce walked to Jason and said "Want to explain to me why the mailman called and said he was passed out on the lawn for over an hour and you didn't do anything about it?" 

Jason shrugged then looked at Damian. "Your animals tried to kill him." 

Damian scoffed "No they didn't, otherwise they would have gotten away with it." 

The animals all shared nervous looks. I mean, it was Batcow's plan, not their exactly. 

This was a weird chapter but I'm running out of ideas! 😅 Hope you liked it anyway!