Public diary-?

Odd

I've always thought of myself as odd. I often feel like I'm acting to mature for my age, Am I just a wanna be adult?

I've anyways thought of myself as quite weird. Every day I'm constantly reminded how much I long or a partner for just simple understanding.

I've always thought of myself as a puzzling person. Sometimes I ball up and lean against my door as if I'm having a main character moment and gaze up into the non existent stars in the night sky. Or just looking into the never ending darkness of my bedroom with the light switch turned off🤷‍♀️

I've always thought of myself as pathetic. I think this because my body feels like asking for help, showing signs of physical or emotional pain, being sad, crying, overthinking everything, not being physically strong, not being as smart as most average people, hating yourself and more is a sign of weakness. Luckily, the brain located in my skull knows I'm wrong. I know I am because is not weak to ask for help, it is not weak to show physical or emotional pain, being sad is not weak, crying is not weak, overthinking everything is not weak, not being physically strong is not weak, not being as smart as others is not weak, hating yourself is not weak.
I've always thought of myself as just a attention seeker. I always feel like someone's watching so I show emotions. Even if I'm not feeling that particular emotion at that moment

I've always thought of myself as crazy(not the good kind.) I usually get overhyped at the wrong time like I get lonely even at a party yet get hyped up when with a friend or when I'm alone.

I've always questioned my very existence. Not like I want to die or commit suicide no. But I've often ask myself "why was I even brought here? What's my purpose in life. And why haven't I figured myself out yet." For goodness sake you should know yourself by now you dork. But what can I do. All I know is that I'm hopeless right now and I'm just fine with that, at least I accept myself these days.

I've always thought of myself as odd.

Cya I'll upload when I feel like it again later dear reader♡ ～('▽^人)
Word count: 384