My Melody

Chapter 11

🔸🔸Aubree🔸🔸

I'm back... I stayed at The Serenity Rehabilitation In Patient Center for 2 1/2 months, and my take away is I need not to internalize the abuse I've endured,but to release it through counseling and learning better coping skills. Upon my leaving it was made mandatory that I continue with AA meetings and counseling,but suggested to start family counseling since that seem to be were most of my trauma came from. Drinking was part of me escaping from the abuse that I endured. Then having to deal with my insecurities, having my mother verbally and emotionally attack me over the years. Another thing that I have learned was that I need to be more assertive. An advocate if you will for myself. I had to unlearn all of the bullshit ways my family dealt with issues throughout my life. I was taught in my home that when someone did something wrong you didn't get punished or reprimanded. If it was something done in public,and it could be fixed with money then DO IT,or if it could be brushed under the carpet even better. In other words not dealing with it at all. That's why most of us are unhappy,but for some reason somewhere along the way I became my mothers emotional punching bag,and she had done it for so long that my siblings with the exception of Austin joined in. My father was always working,and I don't know how aware he was of it. When I was younger I was always the problem child,but I know that once he slowed down with work. He'd see it too. When he finally witnessed the abuse at the hands of my mother I'd hear them argue. Then I was to blame according to my siblings. She'd never have a reason as to why. He would step in from time to time. But that seem to only infuriate her more. He was my saving grace,but it didn't last long with work and all. Their marriage was suffering and I noticed it early on. When I would bring it up to my siblings they would go tell my mother,and that would get me into more trouble. Around eleven is when the physical abuse started. It would be few and far between,but boy did she make the beatings memorable, and even still I want to forgive. I want a clean slate. I want to move forward. With all that said I'm just wondering how do I introduce family counseling to people who pretend nothing is wrong?

So I now am living with Austin until I go back to school in September. That's in another 5 1/2 months. By that time I'd be two semesters behind the girls. Hopefully he won't be annoyed with me. I can be a bit of a slob. It's now mid May and Carmen is actually graduating this weekend with her Masters. I am so happy for her. Not only is she graduating this year she's also getting married. Starting a new chapter in her life. The girls don't know that I'm back yet. They all think that I have another two weeks to go,but I'm going to come see them on Carmen's graduation day maybe. I believe Carmen and three of her other friends are going to have a graduation  dinner after the ceremony with friends and family. I'm gonna surprise the girls then.

               🔸🔸Melody 🔸🔸

A lot of things have happened in the last couple of months. Aubree's preparing to leave rehab and come back to school,but in the mean time between time she's gonna share an apartment with her brother. Nicki has been accepted into the nurses program. Carmen is graduating tomorrow morning,and I made the Deans  list for the third time. Which makes me eligible for a paid internship in my career focus Social Work and Child's Welfare Law. It would be cool to work at a court house,but my focus is to help,and create an advocacy
programs that facilitates better solutions before they get the courts involved. Things are going well. And of course we're preparing for out trip in June.

🔸🔸🔸

Noelle and I were coming back from the Mall. I introduced her to the girls a while back. They say she's the vanilla version Melly meaning she's blah,but they like her. We do have similarities in our work and school ethic,and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. She's just more quieter. I wanted to grab a graduation gift for Carmen,and a new outfit for tomorrow night. Her parents and three of her friends family arranged a nice dinner celebration in their honor. A few hours had past and we were heading home. I actually found something decent,and Noelle picked up her laptop from the electronic store. Once we got back on campus we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. She had a class,and I went to put my stuff away then head to the hall to help decorate for the party. Carmen's family came into town yesterday afternoon. They'll be staying until the end of next week to help her pack up her apartment. It's so surreal that she's not gonna be here anymore,but that's life,always changing. We got a chance to meet her parents,her siblings and GiGi (her grandmother) sweet woman kinda. I'm not sure if she has early  onset dementia. She swears I'm one of her son  Dimitri's daughters. So I indulged the old woman. I just listen and smile.