My Melody

Chapter 34

"Hello." A deep voice I did not recognize at first answers.

"Umm hi." I say meekly. "Jaylon?" I ask unsure. I hear him take a big sniff and yawn "Yeah." He answered.

"Did,did I wake you? It's Noelle." I said. I then hear shuffling in the background.
"Noelle oh my God baby. I've been trying to get in touch with you. Are,are you okay? I came by earlier,but I guess I missed you." He spoke urgently.

"Yeah I'm okay." I said trying to sound convincing.

"Baby have you been crying? You sound all nasally." He asked with concern. Why does he know that?YEAH BECAUSE OF YOU NIGGA!

"Please stop calling me baby Jaylon. What did you want to talk about?" I said trying to stay strong and get to the point. I will not cry. I hear him blow out a breath. I can tell he's rubbing his forehead.
"Noelle I wanted to apologize for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I am so sorry. I know that you're not going to forgive me right away,but I will spend every day making it up to you. Please forgive me. I love you." He said sounding so sincere. That was it. I was crying again. Like I really want to believe him. But I'm so scared to give my all to him again.

"I just want to know why Jaylon?"
I asked lowly.

"Honestly." He sighed. "And please don't hate me Noelle,but the news freaked me out. This wasn't planned. I just needed to process it is all. Like I was excited that we are having a baby,but the reality is I don't know what I'm doing. We're both in school. How are we gonna raise it? You have no idea."

"Why wouldn't you have just told me? You don't think those thoughts ran through my mind Jay?" I said feeling aggravated,and so over this conversation. "Well listen. I'm gonna make it real easy for you. What role do you want to play in his or her life? Because if it's to much for you then tell me now so that I can prepare myself for what I have to do." I said with confidence. No more tears I mentally screamed at myself. I harshly wiped them away. I can't. I need to focus,and make my next move.
"Prepare myself for what I have to do?" He repeats. "Noelle what are you talking about?" He asked sounding genuinely confused.

"Jaylon I know you just woke up,and maybe your forgetting what you just said. You left me. Haven't talked to me for more than three weeks after I told you I am carrying your child. Your reason was because your freaked out,and that you need to process. The reason I need to know what you want to do is because I'm choosing to have the baby,and if it's going to be to much for you I need to know that now so that I can do what's best for us. Meaning the baby and I." I said with a bit of agitation. I hear him huff after I finish.

"Noelle I want us to be together." Jaylon said getting emotional.

"How? Do you think I can trust you now? After what you did?What you did hurt me so bad Jaylon." I gasped catching myself. "God you have no idea. You abandoned us. I've told you in confidence about my life. My upbringing. All the things I've gone through,and you didn't even care. My fears,everything. I took a chance on you. And in that moment you just thought about yourself,and what's funny is I've always been there when you needed me. You don't think I'm scared? My guard has gone back up. I don't trust you. If I were to let you back in how do I know that if things get tough you won't do this again?" I heard him sigh.

"So are you saying that we're not getting back together?"He asked.

"Jaylon we never broke up,but I think we need to take it slow. We are both new at this. I have some things that I need to deal with right now." I told him.

"Like what? Did something happen?"He asked with concern.

"Yeah you know there was supposed to be a meeting for Melly with the school board about being in the dorms with a child?"