This is War (War Series #3)

Chapter 26

#war3wp

Chapter 26

Go Away

It's been a year since then but everything that happened seems like it happened yesterday. Halos dalawang taon na magmula nang makilala ko si Ise. Mahigit isang taon na magmula nang iwan niya ako. 

The anger I have inside me. . . even when time has already passed, is still here, infiltrating me. Kaya hindi ko mapigilan ang galit na nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng mga tao at bagay na nakakapagpaalala sa 'kin sa kaniya. 

It's ironic that Hanniel is the greatest reminder of Ise to me. With my son's Asian eyes and pale complexion, kamukhang-kamukha niya si Ise. Pero kahit na gano'n, iba sa mga bagay na nagpaalala sa 'kin ng nakaraan, Hanniel always calms me down. Whenever I look at his face, my heart feels at peace. 

Minsan, napapaisip ako kung ang sobrang pagmamahal ko ba kay Ise ay dahil kay Hanniel? Sometimes I wonder if it was meant for the world to destroy me before I can hold the greatest blessing of my life. Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ba ako roon o hindi. 

Pero ang mas mahalaga, nandito na si Hanniel. Napangiti ako sa magaang na pag-angat at pagbaba ng dibdib ni Hanniel sa pagtulog. I hold his small hand. 

"Hanani."

Umangat ang tingin ko kay Asiel na kapapasok lang ng nursery room. Umuwi na ang iba naming mga kaibigan. Tanging siya na lang at si Jadon ang natira pero aalis na rin sila maya-maya. 

Before, we do sleepovers in Ida Mishal's house. O kung minsan naman, kung gusto nilang maglaro ay kina Adonijah naman o Hiel. Kung gusto ng katahimikan, kina Jadon naman dahil halos wala naman parating tao roon. Pero magmula nang magbuntis ako at ipinanganak si Hanniel, dahil kailangang parati akong nasa bahay ay sa 'min na sila madalas kung pumunta. 

Our house is like a second home for my friends. They love seeing Hanniel too⁠—especially Ida Mishal. 

I'm sure Ida Mishal has many pictures of Hanniel. Magmula sa pagbubuntis hanggang sa panganganak, lahat, kinuhanan ni Ida Mishal ng litrato. It's a pity that she can't post it on her social media accounts. Instead, she always gives me photo albums of Hanniel's pictures. She also loves journaling and she includes pictures of Hanniel on them too. 

Natutulog si Hanniel. Kanina, panay ang paglalaro nila ni Adonijah pero nang mapagod ay nakatulog din kaagad. 

"Uuwi na kayo?" I ask Asiel. 

He nods and he glances at Hanniel. Natahimik kami. I am getting the impression that he wants to tell me something and I know that it's something he wants to talk carefully about.

"About what happened at Adam's birthday," he starts to say and my smile immediately vanishes. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that you hate Allon too."

Naging magkaibigan sina Allon at Asiel. I don't know how that happened. Siguro ay dahil naging magkaklase sila sa Acerra College of Aeronautics nang doon na mag-aral si Asiel ng aeronautical engineering. I heard that Allon takes the same program too. 

Ever since Ise and I had a split, I isolated myself from everyone. I can remember Allon trying to reach out to me but I keep on refusing to talk to him. Makailang beses din noon na nakakatanggap ako ng messages sa kaniya sa social media. 

He's asking me if I'm doing good. If I was doing better. He asked me if I want him to tell me where Ise is. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Gusto niya bang magkabalikan pa kami ni Ise? O gusto niyang tulungan akong pilitin si Ise na panagutan ako? Parehas kong hindi nagustuhan 'yon.