Dream land

Lockdown, day 10

(bit depressing now but it gets better I promise, also I know its not very realistic but this is after writing a really sad bit of a chapter and now that I think about it I don't love how this is the day after but anyway)

It was my first day without my parents at all, I still didn't know what was going to happen to me which was scary, I din't want to be put into the system at my age. I stayed in my bed as long as I could not moving so it would seem like I was asleep, the others were talking quietly around me about what was going to happen today.

At around 9am I was woken up by Daveed shaking me, they all had press again but I could still stay in bed, Daveed was going to be in my room with Jazzy again because it was going to be the same press and Anthony and Emmy were in their rooms because they were for in the heights and umbrella academy.

"J we all only have one interview today for like an hour but we need to talk after ok" Daveed told me, all I could do was nod.

The hour went by slowly, one of them must have told the Hamilcast about what happened because most of them said they were sorry about what happened to my parents, it was nice of them but I didn't want to talk about it at all. Luckily TJ and Eden didn't know about it so I could stop thinking about it when I was messaging them.

I had to tell Lia and Charlie though because all our parents were very close, they both wanted to call to make sure I was ok but I said not to because everyone had press and I was ok, even though it wasn't completely true.

~Father 2~

(Father 2) Hey I'm done with my press, u wanna come to the park while its not raining?

(Me) Ok

~Father 1~

(Me) Going to the park with Ant

(Father 1) Ok have fun!

I walked into Anthony's room quietly to get him.

"Hey J, shall we?" He said softly pulling me into a hug, I was still not talking so I could tell he was worried.

Once we got to the park we ended up just sitting on the swings for a while being in a comfortable silence until I finally broke it.

"So what's gonna happen to me now?" I asked quietly while looking down at my feet, I wasn't sure Anthony heard me but when I looked up he was looking at me.

"Well we are all going to be with you no matter what but you get to choose what happens, one of us will even take care of you when all of this is over if you want," he told me standing up and crouching in front of me. "We were kinda gonna talk about it when everyone was done but we all want you to be the most comfortable."

I engulfed him into a hug, tears started coming into my eyes. "Thank you," I whispered.

He kept hugging me while I cried. I saw Emmy walking up to us out of the corner of my eye, I smiled and separated from the hug, Anthony also saw her and waved.

"Hey you two ok?" Emmy asked since we were both crying now.

"Um yeah were ok," I answered looking at Anthony smiling.

"Jas and Daveed should be done soon, how you holding up Jess?" Emmy asked me.

"Eh, as good as you get when your parents die I guess," I shrugged.

It started to rain quickly after so we went back inside, I could hear Jazzy and Daveed finishing up their interview so we all went back to the study to wait. I knew that it would be a weird conversation that we were going to have. It didn't take long for them to come in as well, we were all in an awkward silence for a few minutes because no one wanted to start the conversation.

"Ok so we need to talk about what happens to Jess, now with her this time," Anthony started.

"Wait what do you mean this time?" I asked confused, had they already talked about this without me?

"We had all talked about it the day your parents were in the hospital as a just in case kinda thing and you were asleep by then," Jazzy explained

"We just want to know what you would be more comfortable doing so we don't choose for you" Daveed reassured.

"Well I don't wanna be put in the system but I know you all have to go home eventually so I don't know honestly I prefer what is happening now and I don't need to do anything." I had started crying again, deciding this meant that they were really gone.

"Do you wanna know what we thought of before?" Emmy asked rubbing my back, I nodded in response.

"Well we thought that you could come live with one of us when we are able to go back home, like you can choose who we really won't mind if you would prefer one of us over the other but which ever one of us the rest of us will come over all the time to check on you. Your choice though" Daveed explained.

"That would be great thanks guys, just I don't wanna have to choose one of you," Daveed now had me in a side hug so I would feel supported.

"Well we have self nominees over here, Mr Daveed Diggs and Miss Emmy Raver-Lampman! Woo!" Anthony said excited but softly.

"Wait really?" I asked for confirmation.

"Uh Yes, come here!" Emmy said pulling me into a massive hug, Daveed joining from the other side.

"I love you guys!" I whispered just loud enough for all of them to hear.

"Aww" I could hear coming from Jazzy and Anthony who were taking photos of this.

(a/n cue glowing ghosts, I'm sorry I had to)

"Love you to J" Daveed said hugging me tighter.

I was bawling my eyes out with slightly happier tears than before, I finally knew that I was going to be safe with them. I was still unsure how life would work in LA but I would still have my Australian friends and TJ and Eden at least.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, we were going to be in lockdown for at least another two weeks but I still needed to figure everything out here before we left. The three of us decided that we were gonna take my dogs with us even though Emmy and Daveed already have Luna and Moose but I would take care of mine.

Before I knew it the day was over, I had slowly started talking more and was slightly happier but not by much. It felt lonely in my room by myself but I had told the others that I would be ok so they were back in their own rooms and I was alone.

I had started crying again, while thinking of everything that happened today. No one heard me though, no one came in to see if I was ok. I ended up crying myself to sleep again, hoping that it will get better soon.