zaddies | hq chatfic

six

10:09 PM

fuckin like sluts 🤪

oikawa: y'all send help

daichi: just because you don't have access to a mirror doesn't mean you need help

oikawa: no you fuckwad i genuinely think i need help

terushima: and why do you think that

oikawa: i ate glitter...

iwaizumi: OIKAWA WHY

atsumu: KAWA

sakusa: HOW. LITERALLY HOW.

oikawa: CAUSE I WANTED TO EAT SOME SPRINKLES JUST BECAUSE AND I WENT IN THE CABINET AND I SAW THE PACKET OF FUCKING G L I T T E R AND THOUGHT IT WAS SPRINKLES SO I ATE IT

oikawa: NOW I CAN SMELL PURPLE SO CALL FOR H E L P

futakuchi: WHY IS THERE A PACKET OF GLITTER IN THE CABINET ANYWAY

oikawa: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW

oikawa: IF I KNEW IT WAS FUCKING GLITTER I WOULDN'T BE TASTING SOUND RN NOW WOULD I ???!!?

akaashi: WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL FOR HELP YOURSELF ????!??!

oikawa: MY ZERO BUTTON ISN'T WORKING

sakusa: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US EARLIER

oikawa: CAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS FINE THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN BOOM I'M SEEING FUCKING BARNEY ON THE STAIRS

atsumu: I FOUND THE KEYS GET YOUR ASSES IN THE CAR

futakuchi: BESTIE IF YOU DIE I'LL EXPOSE ALL THE SHIT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT AT YOUR FUNERAL

oikawa: YOU WOULDN'T DARE

futakuchi: BIITCH

oikawa: BABES MAKE SURE I DO NOT DIE MY MOMMA DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THE SHIT I'VE DONE 😭

sakusa: IS IT THAT BAD?

oikawa: I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU GUYS

atsumu: IT IS THAT BAD 😭

iwaizumi: OKAY WE'RE LEAVING NOW

[oikawa, atsumu, sakusa, & iwaizumi are offline]

terushima: now i'm curious to how bad the shit oikawa's done is if he hasn't even told his boyfriends

futakuchi: pretty bad

akaashi: well now i have to tell our manager oikawa can't make it to our next shoot cause he can smell sound

terushima: actually it was taste sound

akaashi: actually it was you better shut the fuck up before i punch you in yo damn throat

terushima: ok.