zaddies | hq chatfic

twelve

fuckin like sluts 🤪
[11:13 PM]

futakuchi: in all the respectful most respectably respected respectful ways of respect in the name of the somewhat respectful law

futakuchi: daichi i want you to fuck me in a public parking lot

daichi: 👩‍🦲

futakuchi: at night with people still there

daichi: oh nawl u done lost yo damn mind 😭

oikawa: bestie ur kink of possibly getting caught is showing

daichi: no no cuz i will do it

futakuchi: YES

daichi: just not with people still there

daichi: like if u wanna make a porno we can definitely do that

terushima: HELP

kuroo: DAICHI IS PROJECTING 💀💀

bokuto: MANS WANNA BE A PORNSTAR SO BAD HE GASLIGHTING FUTAKUCHI INTO IT 💀💀

daichi: THAT IS NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING

oikawa: ur definitely gaslighting and there's no use in trying to lie to me, i gaslight all the time to make them wash dishes

iwaizumi: u don't gaslight us u seduce us

oikawa: same difference 🙄

oikawa: and besides i do most of the cooking it's only fair u wash the dishes 😕

iwaizumi: well how come kusa doesn't have to wash dishes >:/

oikawa: cuz u turds don't know how to RINSE OUT UR DISHES so there's food still left in them and nobody wants to touch that

oikawa: and bcuz he does the OTHER half of the cooking

oikawa: and bcuz if u don't, u WILL be sleeping on the couch for 2 weeks :)

iwaizumi: oh-

oikawa: @atsumu this goes for u too

atsumu: aw c'mon i thought i was safe

oikawa: just bcuz u weren't here and i didn't @ u, doesn't mean ur safe :)

oikawa: now there's dishes to attend to 😊

iwaizumi: fine 😔

[iwaizumi and atsumu are offline]

futakuchi: can i have some of that power

daichi: no u already have it

daichi: it's really me who needs some of it 🥲

futakuchi: not when i'm the one who cooks 😐

futakuchi: who does the cleaning around here?