Just down the street of Popee's evil headquarters, there sat an aged, yet quaint, library. Popee decided to make a stop during his morning stroll. Behind the front desk sat the librarian, who looked up from their book to sneer at Popee as he entered through the front door.
"Yo," Popee greeted.
"Salutations," the librarian greeted back, not looking up from their book (which Popee was now able to see was a thesaurus). Popee wasn't sure if the librarian was being a sarcastic asshole or if they just had a resting bitch face. Either way, this wasn't the time to lose his temper. Popee was on an important mission.
"I am looking for a book," Popee stated.
"Evidently, we are conveniently oriented in an establishment assiduously furnished with a plethora of books," the librarian rapidly flipped through their thesaurus while reciting the sentence. Popee knew he had to make his request a bit more specific.
"I am looking for a book that will give me advice, or perhaps a step-by-step guide on how to break up a soon-to-be engaged couple because the couple consists of the love of my life and the biggest asshole I know."
In response to this request, the librarian closed the book and stood up, "Let us relocate."
Popee followed the librarian into one of those secret rooms that only open up when you pull on a certain book on the bookshelf. Once inside the room, there was a smaller library full of books that were rare, illegal, banned, cursed, or completely normal and just didn't have room on the main library shelves. There was an uncensored 1800's novel containing slurs on the same shelf with a printed novel filled entirely with Twitter posts. The library reached up to the highest shelf and pulled a hard cover book and handed it to Popee. The title of the book read How to Break Up a Soon-To-Be Engaged Couple and Other Relationship Advice by Oliver Klozoff.
"So if I read this book, I will be able to break up my targeted couple?" asked Popee.
"Affirmative," nodded the librarian. "Supposably if you adhere to the instructions inscribed, your objective shall be consummated."
Popee paused to think for a moment before responding. "Isn't it pronounced 'supposedly'?"
"You little shit!" The librarian pulled out a revolver from their back pocket and pointed it at Popee, "Now that you know my secret, I won't let you out alive!"
"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this," Popee sighed pulling out his grenade launcher.
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You and Alien had located Popee's location. You two had finalized your plan of facing Popee at dawn. You both set up camp in an open field underneath the stars, preparing for a much-needed rest so that you could conserve your energy for the final battle.
The two of you each had your own sleeping mats and you stared at the sky, not speaking a single word. This scene was quiet, but not exactly silent. In this moment, you could hear the gentle breeze brushing the blades of grass, the chirp of the crickets singing a lullaby, and the whisper-like hiss of this random drunk guy pissing on a nearby tree. If you and Alien could ignore the drunk guy, this was certainly a peaceful night.
"It's like the calm before the storm," Alien finally said, his sudden dialogue almost surprising you.
"I sure hope Papi's okay," you sighed, feeling a familiar tightness in your chest.
"How is that guy anyway? I feel like I haven't spoken to him in forever."
"Aside from being kidnapped by his son, I think he's alright," you shrugged. "He and I are dating now."
"Congratulations! Also, what's sex with him like?" This was not a weird question on Alien's home planet.
"Mind blowing," you answered, recalling that one time Papi's head exploded while you were giving him a blowjob.
"I am sure you guys can go back to having mind blowing sex after tomorrow," assured Alien.
"I sure hope so, Alien. I sure hope so."
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(A/N: I have an assignment due in a couple hours. Why am I writing this?)
YOU ARE READING
Papi the DILF (Papi x Reader)
FanfictionYou are Popee's good friend, y/n. However, what will become of your friendship when he finds out you are in love with his dad?
