Forbidden Love {Sterek} Book 2

Chapter 1: Hope

STILES POV:

I'm sitting on the couch in the loft. Watching Derek. I still can't speak and it's been two months. I'm losing hope. I watch him talk on the phone. Not a voice I know but who ever it is seems to make him happy.

Tears fill my eyes. I can't live like this. I don't mean anything about Derek. But I mean in general. Me who use to talk nonstop and can't even tell the man who makes me the happiest that I love him. Not able to jokingly complain about anything. Not able to be my annoying hyperactive self. I let the tears fall and I stand up walking upstairs he watches me worried.
"Hey I'll call you back." He hangs up walking up after me "stiles..."

I ignore him and I go to our room. I lay on the bed curled up crying. He knocks before walking in and tears fill his eyes he hates seeing me upset. He walks over sitting on the edge of the bed "Sti baby what is it? What's wrong?" He whispers worried and I just shake my head. He doesn't deserve to know because he blames himself for not stopping Niklaus in time.

"Stiles come on you need to tell me."

I just shake my head again crying silently. As thoughts pop into my head like how I'll never be able to say I do if we get married. Also if we have kids they won't know my voice. They won't know their father.

"Did I do something?" He asks worried and I shake my head slightly that time so he knows he didn't.

He nods gently "then why are you upset baby."

My fault don't worry about it

I sniffle and he sighs laying next to me now "you know for a fact I'm not gonna believe that."

I just wanna be alone right now. Please.

He nods gently scared "can I trust you alone?"

I just shrug.

He sighs walking out closing the door. He sits downstairs and he reads so he has no distractions if I make a sound.

I cry silently for what feels like forever. I sit up in the bed.

TW⚠️:

I reach over into my night stand pulling out a razor blade. I just look at it. I made him a promise to never go to far. But it's not his fault for my throat it's my own. I tried to attack Niklaus... and I ruined my life. We never thought it would get us here. If I do try he will only be blaming himself. But it's not and I know eventually he will forgive himself right? I can't do it today Derek is expecting that. I've been clean since he saw them the first time. In the bathroom when I had a cast.

How will he look at me after I do it? Disgusted? Disappointed? I sigh silently and I dig at my wrists as the tears fall. Once I'm satisfied I roll over setting the blade back in the drawer closing it. I lay back down tired from crying and my emotions. It's not long for Derek to smell the blood and he rushes up the stairs. Tears run down his face and he walks over

"What did you do?!" He screams scared and angry and I flinch. I knew it

He sighs sitting down "I'm sorry I didn't mean to. Stiles come on if it's this serious you want to hurt yourself over it you need to tell me what's going on."

Not exactly like I can tell you.

"What is that suppose to mean baby."

You will only blame yourself and it's not your fault. What my life has come to it isn't your fault. I don't want to live anymore. If anything you were the best part of my life.

Tears slide down his face "stiles-" he says in a whisper so upset that I want to die. "If you were to die I'd be alone... I wouldn't be happy-"

Well I'm not happy Derek but that's the thing again... not your fault.

"Stiles I need you to tell me."

Tell you what? How there has been zero progress? How I can't say how much I love you anymore or annoy the shit out of you? What about the fact if we get married and I can't say I do or if we have kids and they won't know what their father sounds like because I ran at Niklaus and did this to myself!

"Stiles it has only been two months give it more time."

Two months with zero progress.

"Your able to eat on your own now whole foods."

The voice box and the throat are very close but two entirely different things Derek.

"You just gotta try to wait and see for me ok."

Yeah whatever.

"Stiles come on." He sighs

There I go only making you upset anymore.

"You're  upset and I get that stiles but I'm not letting a stupid bump in the road try to take you from me. Voice or not I will always love you and you will always love me."

I just nod tiredly and he stays with me until I fall asleep.

I wake up later to Derek on the phone with Melissa. I watch him hang up and walk over "That was Melissa."

Yeah I know what does she want.

"Actually I called her."

I sigh rolling over facing away from him.

"No we aren't doing this... look at me."

I don't and that makes him roll me over his eyes red "Now your being bold."

I roll my eyes "stiles can you take this serious for five fucking minutes please."

I sigh again and look at him. "The reason you can't talk is because of the pain... I can take the pain but you still won't be able to talk fully for a year or so... and you'll have relearn how to talk but they looked at the scans everything is healing perfectly."

I look at him tears in my eyes. It's hope

Are you serious?

I smile sadly and he nods his eyes going normal with tears "I'm serious baby." He smiles and I wrap my arms around his neck crying. He holds me and kisses my head.