Forbidden Love {Sterek} Book 2

Chapter 8: Guilt

STILES POV:

Tears fill my eyes. I pull up a stool and sit next to him holding his hand. "Listen to me Derek Hale." I sniffle looking down at him as I stand up now. I can't make up my mind so scared of losing him." I push the stool away and sit on the edge of the table. I grab his hand with my other hand and move my left hand to cup his face.

"We fight it's what we do. But at the end of the day it's you and me. It's always you and me... I know your the alpha I know your protective especially over me. But I don't love theo. I love you and only you. I always will. I don't love theo I love you.... Theo is a knock off version of you but much worse. Your mean but he... he is something else. Something bad. I love you Derek please wake up... I didn't mean to cuddle into Theo. Please wake up. For the love of god wake up Derek... we lost Boyd... I can't lose you too... please." I cry burying my face in his neck

I kiss his forehead before standing up. I run my hands through my hair. Before touching my neck. The bite is fully back I don't understand. I turn around as Deaton walks in and he smiles "Derek is gonna be fine whatever you said to him he heard. Looks like he will wake up tomorrow. You should probably go home deal with your guys pack."

"No not without Derek."

"Stiles he would want you to and you know that." I sigh and rub my head

"fine." I say walking out. I go home and the loft is empty knowing Lydia she dragged them all shopping. All besides Talia.

"You're no good mate for my son."

Tears fill my eyes "I'm the only one good enough! Even if I don't think so myself! do you know how much he has been through since you died?!"

She crosses her arms. Her eyes going red.

"He watched you all die and that broke him. Kate came back. Yeah kate. The one that killed you guys! His family! Jennifer tried to kill his pack! He also didn't think he could love anyone ever again!" I scream at her "He goes through pain daily! You just decline to see it! He hates himself! When he shouldn't! Boyd recently died! His first turned beta! His son because before me and Scott and the others joined his pack. There was only him, Issac, Erica and Boyd. Nobody else! I would die. Give up my life if it meant make him happy. But when I'm away it only hurts him! So if you care about your fucking son you should shut the hell up!" I lash out on her. My eyes orange. She looks at me her eyes normal but full of worry now.

"What are you."

I just shake my head. "Why do you care."

"You're not a wolf."

"I'm a fox." I mutter and tears fill her eyes. I smell her scent. She is scared "why are you scared."

"It was just a folk tale."

"What a werefox?"

She nods gently "Not just that. The folk tale of the big bad black wolf and the little sly red fox. The mates that were meant to be."

"Yeah well don't be scared it's not us... He can fully transform I can't."

"Not yet."

"What do you mean not yet."

"The fox will transform when it's time."

"I don't understand why your scared!"

"Because it's not so much scared of something it's shock... I didn't expect that story to be true. Especially with my son."

I roll my eyes sighing "you can see yourself out." I say walking up to our room. I sleep all day emotionally drained. I wake up at 5 am. Alone the pack asleep throughout the loft talia still here. I walk to the kitchen and I sit down on the bar stool pouring myself a glass of foxglove whiskey. I drink it. When Derek walks in.

He walks behind me rubbing my back "isn't it a little early for that?" I smile gently and as he rests his chin on my shoulder. I kiss his cheek letting my hand reach up and tangle into his hair.

"It's been rough ok."

He nods gently burying his face in my neck "I'm sorry for being a dick to you."

"I'm sorry I made you feel not loved."

"Don't say that baby you always make me feel loved."

I shrug "I made our bond nearly break Derek." Tears run down my face.

"I think it's time we go back up to bed."

I just nod gently finishing my glass he grabs from me and puts in the sink.

He turns around and I make grabby hands he chuckles gently and picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck. My legs around his waist. He carries me upstairs. He lays me in our bed before joining me. I curl into him as my thoughts spin.

"I can hear how quick your heart is beating stiles you need to calm down."

"I'm sorry." I cry and he quickly rubs my back holding me tightly

"shhh it's ok you don't have anything to be sorry about."

"But I do." I sob and he sighs kissing my head

"no baby you don't."

"I made you upset. You left. I went behind your back. Yes Derek I do." I cry curling up and he holds me.

"No you don't. Fine you wanna say you do then I forgive you Sti, but you really don't have anything to be sorry about because I can never. Ever stay upset with you." 

I nod gently sniffling and curl into him slowly passing out. He runs his fingers up and down my spine like usual as he holds me. He kisses my head and I smile in my sleep. He makes me happy although something is always going wrong between us. And I know I make him feel the same.