Nightingale

fifty-nine

Christmas Eve

It's about 2 in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and I've been up since about 10 this morning making food. I've never been a big cook but my god I don't get how people do this. I will not be cooking for at least a month after today because this has taken everything out of me. Harry is still upstairs sleeping, I couldn't wake him up after seeing how beautiful he looked while peacefully escaping into dreamland but if his ass doesn't wake up in the next hour I'm going to lose my mind. He's the better cook out of the 2 of us anyways and giving everyone food poisoning with my mediocre cooking doesn't sound like a fun Christmas.

I attempted baking a cake for Louis, attempted being the key word here because I almost set the house on fire. That charred cake is now in the trash along with the cake pan it was cooked in because I couldn't scrape it out. After that I threw out the idea of baking cookies because if I messed that up I would end up on the kitchen floor crying. So far I've started making green bean casserole per Callies request, mashed potatoes and gravy and I just threw the ham in the oven so that will be done by the time everyone arrives at 5. Frank, his husband and Penelope are joining all of us as well. I extended an invitation earlier in the week but only if they hadn't made plans already.

Don't even get me started on how many cups of coffee I've had today, I've lost count.

I double check all the food, making sure nothing is burning before I head out the back door with a cigarette. I don't want to talk about how many of those I've smoked today either, stress is doing crazy things to me. I never realized how much effort goes into holidays, I mean Martha never did anything and when I lived Birdie we always made a small turkey and a bunch of sides but doing it all on my own for the first time in my life is just strange. Honestly this is a time I would call Birdie and ask her for help, have her explain to me what to do or better yet just come over herself and help me. I feel like a broken record when it comes to Birdie but she was my favorite person and for a long time the only person who actually cared about me, when that suddenly disappears without a proper goodbye it hits you hard. Holidays are a time when people are surrounded by family and in my eyes she was my only biological family.

I take a couple drags from my cigarette as I look up towards the cloud free sky, "Merry Christmas Birdie." I quietly mumble out as I exhale the smoke from my lungs.

"Merry Christmas mom and dad." Harry's voice croaks from behind me, laced with sleep. His voice makes me turn my head towards him, a sympathetic smile forming on my lips. He makes his way towards me, wrapping his left arm around my shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of my head as he pulls me closer to him.

"Merry Christmas Anne and... uh, what's your dad's name?"

"Desmond."

"Merry Christmas Anne and Desmond." I repeat before handing my half finished cigarette to Harry. "How did you sleep?"

Harry takes a drag from the cigarette, filtering it through his nose before exhaling and saying, "best sleep I've had since I left. I always sleep better with you. I see you got started on cooking, should've woke me up when you woke up so I could help you."

"You don't know how to bake by any chance do you?" I slightly chuckle.

"I can make cookies and cupcakes, that's about it though. My baking skills are not the best but baking is fairly easy when you follow the directions."

"Tell that to the black rock that was supposed to be a cake in our trash can."

"Well what can I do to help? Do you want me to take over on cooking so you can take a break?" Harry asks as he guides us back inside to the kitchen.