Nightingale

forty-six

I really recommend listening to this song while reading. I feel like it truly describes Parker and Harry's dynamic in a really weird way. As always, enjoy!

Lights.

Blinding, bright fluorescent lights cover the ceiling above me.

I rub my dryer than a desert eyes, pleading for some moisture to build within them to ease the burning pain. Completely unaware of my surroundings, besides the fact that a familiar body is squeezed next to my own, I refuse to open my eyes knowing the harsh lighting will only cause further pain to my eyes. I woke up from such a crazy dream, getting high on a couch, surrounded by people who want to escape life just like myself. Even if it's only for a brief moment, the loss of control over your mind and body is always so freeing.

Then I remember being freezing, like in the middle of a blizzard. Harry's skin was just as cold as my own, littered with goosebumps and shaking for warmth. It was a spotty dream, not entirely sure how I went from the couch with drug addicts like myself, slowly killing themselves to being in a snowstorm with Harry. We were rescued from the snowstorm by search and rescue though, making it out alive once again. When I finally open my eyes, the bright white lighting burning holes in my retinas, the harsh truth of reality hits me. My dream was in fact nothing but a dream but a matter of reality.

Laying in a hospital bed, Harry's sleeping body severely squished next to me due to the minimal space the hospital bed provides. For the second time in our lives, I lay in a hospital bed unsure of how exactly I ended up here. A heartbeat monitor clipped to my index finger on my right hand and an IV inserted into a larger vein in the inner part of my elbow. For the fifth time in my life my addiction has hospitalized me, the only difference is this time I'm thankful to be alive. Beating the odds of survival, testing the limits of the universe just to see how far I can push it.

I glance over at Harry's sleeping body, a frown etched into his face. Frown that has been caused by me. Though his sleeping state seems peaceful I know it's anything but that, clinging onto my body like I'm about to vanish in thin air, one slight breeze and I'll disappear. If he released his grip on my body the slightest bit I would be merely just a memory, fading from existence. He looks just as exhausted as my body feels, too scared to make a sudden move afraid everything will come crashing down again.

There is a gentle knock on my hospital room door before it opens, being met with the dark blue eyes of my best friend, another person who I've permanently etched a frown on. She takes a long look at me before her eyes drift over to Harry, her eyes slightly softening at the intimacy between him and I, one I hate to admit that I've missed.

"Hi Cals." My dry voice whispers so I don't risk waking up Harry.

"Hi babes." She weakly speaks as tears threaten her eyes. The tears being a reminder that she is in fact another person I lied to and hurt. Her faint tears running down her cheek make my own dry eyes water.

She takes three deep breaths before speaking so quietly I can barely hear it. "I missed you."

I motion her over with my head as I struggle to keep myself together. She quickly strides over and pulls me into a makeshift hug, taking into consideration the man next to me. "I missed you too." I whisper into her ear.

"This doesn't mean I'm not fucking pissed at you because I'm livid but, I'm just glad you're here. Here and alive."

"I know, you should be pissed." I truthfully admit. She does have every right to be pissed off at me. I said goodbye and never came back until 2 months later, convincing her I was 6 feet under without as much as a reason why. She shouldn't be wasting her tears on me, someone who is undeserving of them.