Tam Riddle: Sometimes the Hero Doesn't Win (HP Fanfic)

Library Mishap

I wriggled out of his grasp; I couldn't take the pain his news was causing me. My brother, my own brother. The Dark Lord wants me to kill the only family I have left. The confirmation of this information  was making my head spin.

I got up and walked over to the window. I stayed still and silent as I stared out the window. I heard him get off the bed. I felt his arms wrap around my body as he brought my body closer to his. I leaned into him, enjoying the feel of our bodies and the warmth of his embrace.

But the news still hung over me like an enormous thundercloud threatening a disastrous downpour of doom. No matter how much that monster tortured me, I would rather die than kill my brother. I can't lose the last family member I have left. Not after I just found him.

"What am I going to do?" I asked him as I continued to stare out the window.

"I don't know," he whispered, his voice close to my ear and I could feel the heat of his breath on my neck. "But whatever happens, I won't let you kill Harry," his voice was soft, kind, and gentle.

"Thank you, Draco," I said as I turned around in his arms and kissed him. I love this boy here with me, but will he be able to protect me? Who would protect him?

February came to a speedy end, in my opinion, summer was coming too soon. I was wary everywhere I went. I wasn't paranoid, but I still jumped like a scared mouse when people surprised me. I don't even know why. It wasn't like Voldemort was gonna walk into the castle and take me away. Right?

Draco still didn't tell me what he was planning. For my safety? I don't know. But I stopped bugging him. I let him sleep in my room and I would bring him some food from lunch or dinner. I was worried about his health. He was looking paler and paler. The dark circles under his eyes were getting darker and darker as the days went by.

As he was often away doing whatever he was doing, I was mostly alone. However, I would hang out with Blaise when Stefani was in class, or someone else that just came by. However, Pansy and Theo had a falling out after Valentine's Day. Apparently, Pansy caught him making out with a Ravenclaw. Ravenclaws, they were smart, but huge sluts. So Pansy broke up with him then and there. She was now sitting at my side in the library talking about how stupid he was. It was starting to get annoying.

"I mean, I can't believe I ever liked him," she said throwing her hands in the air. "He was a terrible kisser and he was so touchy about who I talked to, ugh!"

"Pansy," I said in a uninterested voice, "Do you still love him?"

"Of course not!" she yelled.

"Well, then," I said calmly as I kept writing my Potions essay, "stop talking about him as if you still do."

She was quiet. I looked over at her and she was looking sad and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Pansy," I said turning to her, "I didn't mean to make you sad. It's just, the way you talk about him, it's like even though you hate him and everything he does, you can't let him go. I can hear it in your voice. I can see it in your eyes. You still love him." She was about to object and I held my hand up. "Don't try to deny it. What did he say when you broke up with him?"

"I-I don't know," she said looking down sadly. "I guess he was too stunned to say anything."

I nodded. "So I ask again, do you love him?"

She didn't answer for a while. I sat there looking at her, waiting for her answer.

"Yes."

"Then go after him. Tell him that what he did hurt you, but you love him enough to forgive and forget. I bet he didn't mean to hurt you. I'm willing to bet that he still loves you too."

She nodded her head and gave me a small hug and a smile before packing her things and going off to find him.

I sighed and went back to my essay.

I heard a voice behind me. "That was very nice of you."

I didn't bother looking around. "Yes, I know," I said as I kept writing. "I'm a nice person."

"Nice people don't rip other peoples hearts out of their chests, Tammy," he said as he put his hands gently on my neck and forced me to look up at the shelf in front of me.

I took that as a hint. I stopped writing and tried not to get angry. He could break my neck if he wanted to. But I silently prayed that he wouldn't. It would be hard to explain in the middle of the library.

"What I did was for the best," I said, trying to keep my voice strong and confident. "It's your fault you're taking this badly and being bitter about it. I just wanted what was best for me and that was accepting my feelings for Draco."

His hands were moving up and down my neck slowly, his fingers just barely touching my skin. I tried to suppress a shiver, but I couldn't.

I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, "I am not bitter, but I am interested. You say it was for the best? For whom?"

"For everyone and for myself," I said.

"How can I possibly benefit from getting my heart torn in two once again?" he said as he gently applied pressure to my neck like he was preparing to choke me.

I was getting scared but at the same time I became bored with his presence and having this meaningless conversation with him. What's done is done. I moved my hands up to his. I felt his grip on my neck get just a bit tighter. I touched his hands gently. He took his hands and grabbed mine. I froze just for a second. His hands were very warm against mine.

I stood up and faced him, his hands still on mine. I looked at him. I couldn't remember why I had broken up with him before. But when I looked at him, I remembered why I fell in love with him.

He was sweet, handsome, and had a voice that sounded like chocolate. I almost fell back in love with him again, but fortunately, I didn't. He was still a psychotic nutcase.

"Don't move," he said as he moved his face closer to mine.

"Alex, what are you doing?"

"Shh, don't move," he said as he stopped, his lips just centimeters from mine. I could feel the heat of his breath on my lips when he spoke. Could I have taken the suspense for much longer? Yes, because I felt nothing in this moment.

I closed the gap between us and crushed my lips on his, just to make sure. He froze and I could tell his eyes were still open, but after a moment, he kissed me back.

It felt good to say that I didn't feel anything. No fireworks. No sparks. Nothing. I ended it just as I had started it, sudden and unexpected.

"Alex, you weren't the only one who was hurt. True I hurt you twice and without clear reasons, but you nearly killed Draco and I," I said, glaring at him. I shook his hands off of mine, gathered up my things, and walked away from the table, not looking at him.

"You were the one that jumped off the tower," he yelled at me. Any moment our noise would attract the presence of the librarian, Madam Pince, if it hadn't already. I was surprised she hadn't practically materialized in front of us to kick us out.

"Not that, you idiot," I yelled at him. "The fact that you pushed him off. That's what nearly killed me. The fact that you would do something like that to anyone, that's what kills me. I'm sorry Alex, but I don't love you anymore."

And with that, I walked out of the library.

When I got out into the corridor, I felt him grab my hand and force me to turn and face him.

"But I still love you," he said. "If I can't have you, then no one can have you."

Before I could do anything, his wand was drawn, he said something I didn't quite hear and everything went black.