Braindead Rants (Shank Me Up)

The Slur Reclamation Rant

I hate when people ask if I can reclaim the slurs I say. I actually think it's really insulting and here's why:

It's personal. Like really really personal. It's such an easy thing to realise because by saying "can you say retard?" what you really are saying is "are you retarded?" which is so out of line. You would never ask someone what intellectual disability they have. 

Second of all, it feels like I'm being babied. To translate again - by saying "I just want to make sure you know it's a slur/is able to reclaim it" what you're really saying is "I assume that you do not know what you're talking about and that you do not understand the meaning behind your words so therefore I, a better-knowing person, will make sure you're not doing anything bad even though I do not know you"

And you might ask "well, Holden, what do I do if I just want to educate them?" You shut up, I'm sorry but that's what you do. If you don't/barely know the person this is NOT your place to speak and you are NOT entitled to know if a person is trans or gay or if they have a learning disability or not. Not even if you're trying to protect or educate someone. Then you might also go "well, Holden, I'm uncomfortable around people saying slurs if they can't reclaim them." Well, thats completely understandable, but that's when you ask them not to say the word at all. It's incredibly easy to respectfully ask "hey can you not use that word around me?" Instead of completely invading their privacy + belittling their knowledge around the word by saying "can you even reclaim that word?".

Obviously if you know that someone doesn't reclaim a slur that they're throwing around you can confront/educate them.

Tying into all this, but not really again, I hate when people get angry about/not understanding me getting ticked off for this type of thing. It's like when you get offended over something that isn't "mainstream" or "normal" like getting misgendered or getting a discriminatory remark, it's not valid. I get offended over good old maners not being respected, for example it's really insulting to me when people refer to me by a pronoun in a conversation I'm involved in. Even if it's just "...he literally just said that..." do not call me by a pronoun while I'm there. It feels like you're talking about me, not with me, and people just do not understand when I tell them not to do this because it's apparently an uncommon thing to get offended over. And it's the same reaction I get when I tell people not to ask me if I reclaim slurs. 

(In my opinion) just don't call someone by a pronoun when they're in your presence, don't ask if anyone reclaims a slur they've said, and don't ridicule people who get offended over traditional or uncommon things.