I'm unsure what to do other than lock the doors. Their headlights turned off almost as quickly as they lit up. I try convincing myself it's just a similar car, not the same one, but I looked at the license plates when they were behind us earlier. Taking a closer look at the car, I notice it has a Linkin Park sticker. What is going on? Is it him? Why would he put that on his car?
Taking deep breaths, I remind myself the rest of the band is still on board. Nothing can happen to me with the others around. I also have no proof that it's him. It could just be a fan following us. The deep breaths become short and fast. I'm trying not to panic, but it's hard.
The door to the car opens, I freeze up in the midst of my panic. My heart felt like it dropped to my feet in the most painful way as it continued to thud hard. By the time he steps out, tears have already drenched my eyes. It really is him. He's following me. He's been following me.
I want more than anything to believe this isn't real. Is it possible to keep denying the fact that he's stalking me? I already miss the false sense of security. He's walking up to the bus. Why is he doing that? He can't do anything to me. My family is with me, my bandmates. Our driver could come back any moment. He can't do a fucking thing.
I'm shaking when he approaches my side, looking at me with that familiar, hateful glare. What does he want from me? Should I shout for someone? For Mike? Our eyes remain caught for a few moments, the silence seems deafening. Suddenly, he walks away.
As soon as he's out of view, I snap. I can't hold back the fear in my heart that's been racing beyond my control. My body feels so tense, yet I'm trembling all over. I'm hyperventilating through the tears. Afraid the band may wake up, but unable to hide it. I'm inhaling so much, it's like I'm suffocating on air. I can't breath, yet I'm breathing too much. I'm struggling to hold up my shaking body that begs to collapse into the floor.
"Chester? Chester, hey, everything's alright. I'm here," Mike's voice reaches me. His voice calms my breath, but triggers more tears as I let out a painful sob.
I really can't do this anymore. Everyday is a nightmare. I don't want to live with a target on my back. I truly cannot deny his presence anymore, no matter how much I want to. I wish he would just leave me alone. I'm sick of the fear and paranoia. Please, just leave me alone. Please. I want to know what it's like being free. I've been trapped for so fucking long.
"Chester, please calm down, everything's okay," He promises as I had started losing control again. Should I tell him what happened? What's been happening?
"I'm...sorry," I choke out, struggling to halt the tears.
I can't tell Mike. I really don't know what he wants, but he's had chances in the past to hurt me again if he wanted and he didn't. He just wants to scare me and unfortunately, he's doing a fantastic job. I won't drag Mike into it. This is my problem. I have to deal with it alone. I'll open up to him about the past, but not the present.
"Don't apologize," He says softly. A knock on the bus door pulls him away from me. He unlocks it and the driver gets back on.
"I was only gone a moment. Are you okay?" He asks gently. I nod while taking in a shaky breath. "Did that car earlier get to you?"
"What car?" Mike asks as he returns to my side to pull me into his arms.
"Oh, just a car that got off at the same exit behind us. I thought they might've been following us, think I scared Chester."
"N-No... it's not your fault," I frown, eyes burning from all the tears. "I-I'm sorry."
"What are you saying that for?" The driver playfully nudges me. "Everything's okay. We're both with you. You can relax."
"Th-Thank you, guys," I sniffle and struggle to steady my breath. "I think I need to lay down."
"I'll help get you settled," Mike insisted.
"Take your time, feel better," The driver encourages with a supportive smile.
"Thank you," I return the smile, though it was weak, and allowed Mike to guide me to the bunk as my legs felt like jelly.
Once I lay down, I expect Mike to leave. Instead, he squeezes in next to me. He pulls me into his arms, allowing my head to rest on his chest. His head settles on mine. Feeling so safe, more tears fall. I'm so grateful for Mike, yet I wish he didn't need to comfort me like this.
I can feel myself getting closer and closer to losing it. This whole situation is too much for me to handle. I can't wrap my head around why it's happening. I just want to forget it all and let go. However, I'm not sure if he'll leave me alone without getting others involved.
It doesn't feel right telling the band. They'll have me go to the police, who can't do anything without evidence. While we have the cameras from the last hotel, we can't prove where they came from. I also don't know if he's a threat. There's still too much doubt in my mind to let others know about it.
I feel like all I can do is go along with life. I have no control over the situation and zero predictions for what's yet to come. Nothing I do will protect or prepare me. Nobody I tell can do anything to save me. Even with Mike's arms around me, I can't help feeling so alone.
