After the show, all I want to do is be by myself. He wasn't in the crowd and it confuses me. I don't understand why he'd appear at the meet and greet then skip the rest of the night. I wonder if he's intentionally trying to misguide me, keep me questioning his next move. He seems to get a kick out of terrifying me. The paranoia is overwhelming.
I need some time to think about everything, too much has happened. I'm worried about Mike clueing authorities in on what's been going on. It could trigger a response from him. My brain races through imaginary scenarios, as if preparing for what could occur.
Stepping out of the venue, I light up a cigarette. I'm planning to spill my heart out to Mike whenever I return to the hotel. He deserves answers and maybe he'll understand why I hid those pictures if I open up. I can't keep it to myself anymore, Mike's been getting harassed because of all this for who knows how long. It wasn't fair of me to keep him in the dark when it's directly affecting him. I'm getting really scared for Mike's safety. He handed him something and quietly talked to him. The other guys were treated normally besides Brad, who was next to me and ended up getting his ear chatted off.
I try thinking back on his ramblings, attempt to figure out what he was going off about to Brad. It didn't make sense at the time, maybe because my brain was melting down. He talked about seeing us many times, which I already knew. Switched over to traveling, all the places he's been to see our shows. That he loves taking pictures, which led into a tangent about technology and it's rapid improvement. Something about a gas station, then a parking lot to a grocery store. He mentioned hotel prices. Finishing off with money, that he used to have nothing and it was nice being able to spend so much. I don't know.
When my cigarette's down to it's last puff, I put it out and toss it in a nearby trash. As I turn to leave, a shadow near the building a couple yards away catches my attention. Instead of fight or flight, my body always chooses to freeze. Like a frightened animal, I'm wide eyed and stiff. Jaw clenched and holding my breath, bracing myself as it starts moving towards me.
He steps out into the light provided by the building and night sky. Although I already assumed it was him, it still terrified me to know that this is my reality. I'm frozen as he creeps forward, afraid to even speak.
"I thought you'd be out here," he admits as he's directly in front of me. I can feel my body start to tremble as I slightly break free of myself and back into the building. Glancing up at him, I feel sick to my stomach. Actually looking him in the eye sends chills down my spine. He's a head taller than me and on the heavier side, it's so intimidating.
"Why?" Was all I could breath out. He steps closer to me, I have no room to back up or move out of his way. My eyes find the door I came out of, longing for it to be closer.
"Why did I ignore you earlier?" He asked and I couldn't help feeling confused. I didn't care about that, definitely not now. "You ignored me, but greeted everyone else. Shame on you. That's no way to treat an old friend. I miss what we used to have."
"We were never friends," I try walking around him, but his arms extend on either side blocking me in between him and the building.
"Really, Ches? You're the one who came back," he reminds me and I cringe.
"I was trying to forgive and move on, I thought you changed, but you didn't," I quickly attempt defending myself. "Why do you keep coming back?"
"I told you, I miss what we had," he said adamantly. His hands move away from the building and onto my arms with a solid grip. I use all my strength to rip away from him, his face shows he's surprised. "Ches, you don't need to be such an asshole."
His words never fail to shock me, always deflecting and blaming me. He grabs my arm again and I attempt pulling away just as hard as before, but he doesn't budge. I suppose he was underestimating me and is now prepared for my newfound strength from working out the last few years. I already feel defeated, knowing he can still overpower me. He leans in and hovers near my ear.
"You should be grateful. I spent a lot of money to see you. Nobody else would do that for you," he says quietly. "You know, my dad died when I was young. His parents put a bunch of money away for me that I couldn't touch until they felt I should have it. I told them I was going to travel abroad for school and they gave it up. I'm almost out and I'm getting impatient with you."
"What?-" I start to say when the door to the building opens and Mike steps out. He immediately lets go of me and walks away, but Mike clearly saw he had me by the wrist and quickly came up to me, watching until he disappears.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I shrug. "We have a lot to talk about."
"Yeah," I agreed, extremely shaken. Tears start to fill my eyes when I slowly realize I'm safe for now. My body's trembling and I'm fighting off a panic attack, I need to stay focused. Mike pulls me into his arms, it feels relieving and warm. "I'm so sorry for everything."
"It's okay, Chester, it's not your fault. Clearly there's more happening than I realized," he admits. I shake my head.
"It's all my fault and I'm sorry."
