I feel terrible. I should've talked with Mike, explained what was going on. It was dumb of me to just show him the pictures and expect him to understand. If anything, I proved we certainly were being stalked and that none of it was coincidental. I understand Mike has a lot to think about, but I wish he didn't leave. This is all my fault.
A knock on the door startled me. I hesitate before opening. It's just Brad with a couple coffees and donuts in hand. I allow him in without a word. He immediately notices something is off and quietly sets down the breakfast on the table. I notice he brought two of each item.
"Mike's not here," I inform him, glancing at the coffee. He nods.
"Kinda figured, you seem upset. I managed to give everyone else their coffee except for you and Mike. What happened?" He asks, taking a seat in the armchair.
"Um..." I wasn't sure how to explain. Showing Mike the pictures didn't go well, I can't imagine Brad reacting any differently. "We both hid some things from each other. He came clean first, so I decided to tell him what I was hiding too. He said I would never have told him anything had he not said something and he's right."
"You guys? Hiding things from each other? Sounds crazy," he chuckled. "Don't worry too much, Mike will come around - the guy loves you, he'd do anything for you."
"I don't know about that," I sighed. "I think I really messed up."
"Oh please," he rolled his eyes. "You haven't heard how he talks about you when you're not around. You're like all he seems to think about besides work, even then you come first. He can't focus when something's wrong with you. You hide things from him all the time, like how you've been feeling. He'll forgive you."
"I..." my cheeks heat up. Does Mike really feel that way? I shake my head. "It's different this time, it was more serious."
"I promise he'll come around, Ches. Just let him cool down, he'll be connected to you by the hip by the end of the day," he swears and stands up. He pulls me in for a quick hug. "Eat your donut, get some caffeine in you, and think about the show tonight. It'll be fun! I'll try to find Mike and talk to him before we leave. Try to relax."
"Thank you, Brad, you're amazing," I swoon over the guitarist. He laughs and pats me on the back.
"See you in awhile, Ches."
"See ya," I agree and rise to lock the door behind him.
While the talk with Brad was helpful and uplifting, I'm still worried I've ruined my friendship with Mike. Brad doesn't know the full extent of the situation and I'm not sure what Mike is going to tell him. What if word spreads through the whole band and they hate me?
I need a distraction, but I don't even want to exercise. Ignoring the coffee and donut on the table, I lay in bed, cover myself with a blanket, and close my eyes. My head feels like it's pounding, a headache continuously grows as guilt swelters. Nothing can make me feel better, I lied to Mike and I'm still not giving him the truth. He has every right to be upset with me. He did everything he could to coax it out of me, but I just couldn't. I'm weak and powerless in the situation, I wish he knew that without having to tell him.
My mind won't stop racing. I need to calm myself down, take Brad's advice. Try to think about the show tonight and the loving fans. He wasn't there last time, I doubt he'd show up now. Mike mentioned getting messages about specific tour dates, I wish I could ask which ones were mentioned. He must have some sort of pattern or something. Maybe the dates were just lies to throw us off.
I can't listen to Brad's advice, it's just impossible to turn my mind off. There's too many terrible things to think about. I went back to bed to try and sleep more, but I'm starting to doubt I even can. Most likely, I'll just lay here for hours trying to silence the stupid thoughts in my head. I wish I could be optimistic, but I see no happy ending.
My phone buzzes on the table, pulling me away from my thoughts. I open my eyes and let out a heavy sigh, wondering who it could be. Maybe Brad talked to Mike already. Someone in the band might need something before leaving for the show. I hoped it was Mike, so I could apologize. If he'd let me, I'll spill my soul out to him if it meant he'd forgive me.
After grabbing my phone, I open up the text message. My hands tremble so hard, the phone drops through my fingers to the floor. I'm unable to stop violently shaking. Trying to regain myself, I dive back under the covers in bed. My breath is out of control and my heart feels like it could burst. I feel sick to my stomach and terrified. The sobs start rising in my throat and I quickly try muffling myself with a pillow. Clenching my eyes, I cave into the panic and let myself freak out.
He actually has my number and he's going to be there tonight. There is absolutely nothing I can do. Even if I told police myself, they will not take it seriously. It feels like nobody believes male victims. There probably won't be time to tell Mike everything before tonight. I feel like this message is a threat and I'm horrified. He's probably had my number for a long time, considering he's been messaging Mike for months. There must be a reason he chose now to say something. Maybe he wants to scare me and is getting bored with tormenting from a distance. He's truly unpredictable.
'See ya later!'
