Irrelevant (Bungo Stray Dogs x Gn!reader)

The umbrella

What did Dazai have to do with the umbrella?

"Though, I'm slightly hurt it's you who's carrying it and not Y/n", Dazai said, "Oh well, I suppose it's the closest it can get".

Who gave it to me? Or Evelyn? Where is that umbrella from anyway? I don't remember Evelyn ever buying it. I just assumed that someone gave it to her in case of rain and now it was just a habit of hers to have it. "Evelyn-san, where is that umbrella from...?"

"It's-"

Chuuya looked at us all, "Nevermind that! Let's get going!"

It's from Dazai. I guessed so. But it's fine, it mustn't have been very important to him since I didn't see it with him often if ever. "Evelyn-san, please join those two. I'll stay here in guard, you know, in case of other guild members. Or if the farmer man recovers quick". Evelyn nodded following after Chuuya into the building.

I wonder why Evelyn had the umbrella. She knew my hate towards Dazai. Maybe he insisted and she followed thinking it's the best course of action concerning me, after all, it's an umbrella and if it started raining, it'd be useful. I sat again the wooden cabin, of course making sure that only my shoes touched the ground. The farmer man would eventually recover, but he'd be weaker than usual. I would just throw few knives, one to each of his shoulders and one above both knee caps. It should immobilise him for a while at least, long enough for others to return.

...

I hated the long haired guild member. He was terrifying. He calmly pulled out the knives from his body dropping them to the ground. I hoped that Chuuya and Dazai returned soon, I had no idea what kind of ability he had, but Dazai would nullify it and then the game would be over.

Evelyn came out carrying Q on her back and after that Chuuya and Dazai. I was glad until I saw a tentacle- or something like that- take a hold of Chuuya and throw him against the cabin. Shit. I looked back at Evelyn and Q, they seemed fine. I crouched down in front of them, "Evelyn, please get Q further away and make sure that farmer boy doesn't return to get them". I tried to stand up but it hurt. This was way overboard. "Huh, um, make sure they'll be fine". I nodded few times before taking a deep breath to have another try. I got up this time. 

"Y/n, I do not believe it's a good idea to-"

"I know it isn't, but does it look like they're making any progress?" I asked nodding towards Chuuya and Dazai. Soon enough Dazai flew past me against a tree. 

"Dazai?!" 

Evelyn looked at them, "Perhaps your help would be appreciated". 

...

What was that thing? I didn't know whether I should even call him a human anymore. "Y/n, you should leave. It'll get quite messy", Chuuya told. 

"But-"

"No buts, you can't move nearly as well as usually anyway, go away!"

"Yes".   I've become useless once again. If Evelyn were here I would... no, I wouldn't be fighting. I would've been thrown out sooner. I followed the same path as Evelyn earlier. I saw as corruption took over. It was probably for the best that I wasn't there to see it, just in case I was on the way. "Evelyn", I quietly called, she'd hear me anyway. 

"Y/n, you returned", she seemed... relived. An ability like her could only imitate emotions and apply them to the situations they seemed fit. 

Yes, she was only an ability in the end. Yet everyone treated her like  a real human being, I did too. "I got punched few times by that thing, but otherwise I'm completely fine". Why did I bother lying to her? Everything was hurting. Mori had given me a clear earlier and I wanted to trust that, but I don't know did I in the end.  

"We should return". 

"We should", I looked back, "They'll be fine... if they don't kill one another, of course". Though I wouldn't believe if someone told me that one of them had killed the other, I didn't see it as an impossible thing to happen either. 

...

I stared at the umbrella, Evelyn left it alone when she was scouting the headquarters. I would've known earlier if it was from Dazai, right? He would've handed me it himself if it were for me. He had the mentality that Evelyn may be part of me, but I should be fine without her, he almost hated her. 

It was almost funny to me. Nobody, nobody hated her.

I do wonder, though, she never did anything to upset him. Maybe it was exactly because a person like him existed, someone who could just erase her and make me powerless. What a funny thought that he actually wanted to protect me in some sick twisted way that only the Dazai Osamu could justify. 

"So exhausting", I was sitting on an armchair, stretching out my arms and legs letting my head hang down. "They're overworking a sick person, it's quite sadistic, don't you think?" I turned to look at Evelyn. She wasn't here after all. 

For all I knew, Akutagawa should be on that giant whale ship fighting. I was supposed to retrieve him soon, after the fight was won. No one actually told me when this "soon" was, was it in ten minutes or two hours? I had no idea. With this information I came to the conclusion that I would leave as soon as Evelyn came back since the route she took was almost an hour long since she went through everything. I just hoped that he actually won, the rich American man seemed very strong, but I believe that the agency also send someone and hopefully they worked together.