Going Beyond the Past

Chapter 61: A Simple Letter

TW: Underaged drinking, mentions of selfharm, depression

This chapter hurt me to write. We'll be getting back into the happier stuff soon. We got the school festival coming up soon afterall!

Leinei yawns into her hand as she sits on Reina's bed, shuffling through papers from her sister's nightstand and separating them into piles. Keigo sits on the floor by the closet and dresser, sorting through her clothes and sipping here and there on some whiskey she still had on top of the fridge. He glances up at his younger sister, who was having a hard time keeping her eyes open reading through paperwork.

"You can go to bed, if you want," he tells her. "I know you want to go back to school tomorrow."

"M'fine," she replies, shaking her head and rubbing the heel of her palm into her eye. "Do we have any coffee still warm downstairs?"

"If we do, it's burnt."

"Great," she groans, setting down the leaf of papers she had in her hands before sliding herself off the bed. "I'll be right back then."

"Bring me up a cup?"

"I guess so."

"You're the best," he sings as she heads downstairs. She rubs her eye again, shaking her head as she dumps the pot of burnt coffee out in the sink and replaces the grounds in the little basket. She refills the water compartment and hits the button for the machine to start, choosing to lean on the counter next to it as it starts to gurgle and drip. After a minute or two, she leans back to check the time on the stove, her shoulders slumping when she sees how close it is to 10PM.

Katsu is already asleep. I never called him today.

She sighs and hangs her head, closing her eyes. She feels guilty, now wishing she had asked him to come instead of staying away. She still felt horrible for the state she was in prior to coming to the apartment, and how he looked at her. Her stomach twists into a knot at the memory of his pained eyes, how he was afraid to touch her. He thought I wouldn't notice.

He knows how broken I am. He has to know after that.

"I'll help you piece yourself back together."

But does he mean that? Words are easy...proving them right is another.

Her fingers dance over the now scabbed over cuts along her arm, her eyes drawn to the counter space just above it as she gets her nail underneath one. She starts picking at it, scratching until the hardened shell pulls away, and winces, snapping out of her small daze to see a small bead of blood start to well up. Brushing her finger across it and gently smearing it until it blends with her skin, she steps away from the counter and finds two mugs in the cabinet to pull down for her and Keigo.

I'll just call him before he goes into class tomorrow. It'll be nice to hear his voice.

The coffee machine beeps a few minutes later, causing her to flinch. She glances over at the stove again, seeing that it had already turned past ten. I didn't...when did I zone out that bad? Fuck, Keigo's gonna be upset I waited so long.

She sighs and makes the cups of coffee, grabbing the creamer bottle out of the fridge and pouring a generous amount in each one before finding the sugar and scooping three heaping spoonfuls into each cup. As she stands up from putting the creamer away, her eyes are caught by the glass bottle sitting on the counter by the stove, seeing the sprawling calligraphy at the top of the label. It was the same bottle Keigo had made a beeline for when they arrived back at the apartment, had disappeared from the room multiple times to refill his cup so only a quarter of the bottle was left.