Going Beyond the Past

Chapter 89: Going Beyond Your Past

TW: Arguing, mentions of suicide attempt, violence
Music Suggestions: Blood by Connor Kauffman, Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon

I'm not allowed to have any more personal conversations with people.

"What the hell do you mean you knew he was going to do this?!"

I shrink back as Katsuki yells, holding my own letter in my hands. Everyone is either staring at us or at their little notes from Izuku. Katuski's eyes are burning, almost hellfire, from the anger in them. Every inch of his body suggests that he's either about to lose his mind or start swinging. Ochaco and Iida look at us as he approaches me, watching as he crumples his note in his hand.

"He-we-I talked to him a few days ago, after I lost in the Smash Brothers' tournament," I managed to get out, my face burning. "He asked me what I would do if I thought that I was going to be responsible for people I care about getting hurt. I answered him honestly. I didn't think he'd actually leave," I add, watching as Katsuki shakes his head with an almost hysterical smile on his face. "I didn't know he was going to actually leave," I repeat softly.

"So it didn't cross your mind to tell someone? It's fucking De-it's Midoriya," he hisses at me. "He acts on impulse like it's a competition and he wants to stay at number one."

"What do you want me to do then, Katsuki?" I ask, starting to get frustrated and raising my voice. "Want me to go back in fucking time and change my advice to 'oh, don't go, I'll get yelled at by the guy that was a jackass to you for most of you life!'"

"Oh, so you want-you want to go there, huh? I'm sorry you keep secrets like it's your fucking life, but this is our classmate and friend. Not another one of your fucking issues, Leinei! You should've told Aizawa or at least Iida to let someone know what he was doing!" He yells at me, grinding his teeth together afterwards. Everyone is watching us now with wide eyes, seemingly trying to gauge what's going to happen next.

"My issues?! Really? You're talking about my issues now because I gave advice to a friend?! No, you wanna talk about issues? Let's talk about the fact you act like you're the gods' gift to the earth when you're just a fucking egomaniac!"

"Oh, I'm an egomaniac, Leinei? Really? No, no let's talk about the fact you hid your fucking past and I had to find out from the LoV when we were kidnapped! Let's talk about the fact you couldn't open up to me because you're a fucking coward. That's all you are, Leinei. A lying coward who victimizes herself and uses her depression, anxiety, and PTSD as reasons for people not to be mad at you. Fuck you."

"I'm glad you know me so well, Katsuki. Really. It's great," I scoff, watching a vein tick in his forehead as he glares at me. "And if you're trying to intimidate me, it's not going to work. I've faced a lot scarier than you."

"Guys, we don't need to be fighting," Eijirou finally speaks up, walking over to grab Katsuki's shoulder. "We need to figure out what to do about Midoriya and we can't do that if we're all arguing."

"No, I think us fighting is exactly what we need," Katsuki growls, shoving our friend off of him. "Gym Gamma. Thirty minutes."

"Fine."

"When I win, you tell all of us what exactly was going on with Icy Hot's brother and everything else you're keeping from us."

"And when you lose?"

"You and I will have an actual conversation."

"Oh gee, lucky me. See you in thirty minutes, Katsuki."

Those thirty minutes pass in the blink of an eye. Before I know it, I'm standing in the very gym where we designed our ultimate moves, staring down someone I love almost more than anything. Our classmates were standing on the sidelines, watching anxiously as Katsuki fixes the gray bracers on his wrists. He left his grenadiers in the changing room it seems, which is fine with me. Means he doesn't want to kill me.