Going Beyond the Past

Chapter 58: Funeral Pt 1

I figured a shorter chapter was in order after the 7k word one, which I hope everyone enjoyed! And to anyone binge reading the story, please please for the love of the gods, take breaks. I have to do it constantly.

TW: anxiety attack and very intrusive thoughts

"Who all is supposed to come today?" Leinei asks as she fidgets with the collar of the black dress she was told to wear. Keigo looks up from the flowers he was re-adjusting next to the blown up pictures of Reina, then fixes the cuffs of his suit jacket. He hated dressing up like this; it always made him feel more stifled than usual.

"The sidekicks from Starlite since the agency is closed until further notice," he starts, watching as her shoulders slump. "A few of the heroes from the Raid and others that worked with her on a regular basis. And whoever they decide to bring really. Besides that, I'm not really sure. Did you ask your friends to come?"

"Kiri is still recovering from the raid," she replies, shaking her head. "And Katsuki has his remedial lessons. I didn't want to distract him any more than I might've already. I called Fuyumi and let her know, but she has work so I'm not sure if she'll make it."

"Are you holding up okay?"

She shrugs again and messes with one of the red lycoris bouquets next to the picture of Reina posing as Elementia. She feels so numb, as if working on autopilot yet still conscious. Keigo says nothing, insteading moving to make sure the seats were set up properly and talk things over with the funeral home director. Not that there's a body to bury.

Why didn't you just run away..? Why did you go with him?

She swallows the lump in her throat and takes a breath, shaking her head. She grips the edge of the table, feeling the wood dig into her palms despite the red cloth separating them. Biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself out of her head, she inhales through her nose and exhales through pursed lips.

I'm not going to break down today. I'm going to just shut everything off. Shut it all off. Just shut it all off and pretend you aren't here. You're anywhere else but here.

"Lei Bay?" Keigo says softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. She flinches and looks up, seeing the strained smile he gives her. "I need to go discuss something with the director in his office. Are you going to be okay if I leave you here for a minute?"

"Yeah. Is there anything else we need to do here?"

"No, we don't have to do anything else we need to do. Just sit down and breathe, okay?" he tells her, squeezing her shoulder and taking his hand away. "It'll be over before you know it. I know this isn't easy for either of us."

She doesn't say anything, just nods her head. Keigo waits for a second, trying to figure out what else to say. Nothing comes to mind and he walks away, leaving her to let go of the table and stumble back to sit down in one of the chairs. She buries her face in her hands, leaning over with her elbows digging into her knees.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Just push it all down. You've cried enough.

"Is..this seat taken?"

She looks up, half hoping to see Katsuki. Her shoulders sag as she sees Fuyumi, who smiles sheepishly at her. Shaking her head and gesturing to it, she leans back in her chair and pushes a few stray strands of hair from her face. Fuyumi sits down as Leinei clears her throat, sitting up a bit and smoothing the skirt of her dress down.

"Are you doing okay?"

"Okay is subjective at this point." She glances around, chewing the corner of her lip. "Just you?"