Unrequited LOVE

•Chapter 27•

WARNING: Suicidal thoughts, self-mutilation, blood, graphic descriptions of pain/torture, and other disturbing themes in this chapter. Per usual, a summary will be included at the end of the chapter.

***

All the situations you braved paled in comparison to this. Being without your SOUL felt like loosing an arm, leg, and just about any other vital appendage.

And it fucking hurt.

Your chest burns hotly as you lay in your cot. Sweat drips down your body as your wings, patchy and bleeding, wave in the air. White feathers lay scattered over the floor - the ones you ripped out earlier.

I want to die.

RIIIIP!

Your hand comes up and rips another patch of feathers off your right wing. Pain flares in the now-bleeding area, but you don't care. The pain makes you feel alive.

...This must be what Ink feels, being soulless and all...

A strange sense of kinship with said skeleton blooms in your chest. God, you missed him. All of them.

"-DON'T GIVE UP! I BELIEVE IN YOU-!"

Blue's voice echoes in your head.

"hang in there, kiddo-"

"IF EVERYTHING'S NOT OKAY, IT'S NOT THE END!"

"don't worry. i got you."

"Smile!"

Then Sans, Papyrus, Ink, Dream...

Their voices fill your mind, a roaring cacophony of sound. Your chest feels like it's been stabbed. Fresh tears drip down your cheek.

No...

...I'm sorry.

RIIIP!

Another wad of feathers hit the air, fluttering about like dying angels. Blood soaks the cot's thin fabric as you lie in a puddle of cumulated life.

It's funny, actually. A dry, humorless chuckle rings through the cell, bouncing off the thick walls.

"I'm so sorry."

***

To Gaster, this was the breakthrough of a lifetime- no, two lifetimes. He had your SOUL in his very grasp, which meant anything was fair game.

The first thing he did was take basic readings. You were remarkably healthy, though your SOUL was dim with overwhelming fear. It didn't matter, really, he could continue regardless.

The second thing he did was get an injection of cultivated DETERMINATION. The transformation you SOUL underwent in the initial transformation was remarkable, but he wondered it it was possible to reverse the effects back to full DT.

And so, he injected the DT into the green part of your SOUL, watching as the blood-red liquid swirled into the trembling heart. It was quite fascinating, though he did have to wear noise-cancelling headphones to block out the screams emanating from your cell.

The pain must have been indescribable, because the noise halted after ten uncomfortable minutes. You must have passed out.

Finally, he thought, removing the headphones.

Your SOUL, contained in a small glass case, began to beat furiously, causing the sensors attached to it to wail loudly. He checked the readings, finding that your SOUL beat was racing to dangerous levels. The green was almost extinguished, about 89% of the color being a bloody red.

Despite the situation, it was strangely beautiful. Gaster watched as your SOUL convulsed and shook, almost as if trying to expel the foreign DT.

Interesting.

But then, the movements stopped and your SOUL beat returned to normal. If not for the small green pinprick in the upper arch of the heart, no one would have guessed you once had a split SOUL.

It's working...

Sure enough, the DT had consumed 99% of your SOUL. It was a breakthrough, a beauty, and a victory.

Gaster was practically shaking with excitement. He couldn't wait to perform more tests.

***

You didn't know what Gaster was doing to your SOUL, but it was really, really bad. The pain you felt before paled in comparison to what you felt now, a thick, burning, stabbing pain that lit every nerve on fire.

Raw screams left your mouth as you writhed on the cot. Your brain felt fried as red liquid splashed from your mouth. It was too bright to be blood, but too dark to be saliva.

-It almost looked like DETERMINATION-

At some point, you tumbled to the ground, landing directly on your fractured ribs. The shriek that tore from your throat was even louder than the previous ones.

Please, stop!

More liquid poured onto the floor.

No! I don't want this!

Your body spasmed, irritating the fresh cuts on your skin. Throat slimy and thin, you coughed and coughed and coughed.

I just want to go home!

Nothing could comfort you. This was it... this was death.

And despite your earlier thoughts, death was the last thing you wanted.

***

What the hell did I just write...? Oh god, I'm going to have to write 20+ chapters of fluff when this shit is over with.

For those who (wisely) chose not to read the chapter: The reader suffers the effects of having her SOUL separated from her body. Gaster injects artificial DT into the KINDNESS part of her SOUL, which is basically torture. Reader realizes that she doesn't want to die, but the DT in her system makes her think that she is.