Jiara: My Mistakes Were Made For You

Part 17: New Lands New Amends

They had been on the road for hours when Kie knocked softly on the door of JJ's room. They had watched the gold, tried to count it, watched it again, and had long daydreams about it because they could not feel their exhaustion from excitement. Big John had them sit down before him to have a serious talk after a while. They couldn't go home waving with this gold, they needed a good place to hide such a large sum. Fortunately, Big John, who had been searching for this treasure for years, had made reliable connections, knew people who would help him hide, split, and cash in the gold. He had suggested to the pogues that they should come with him to Barbados, get things done, and then decide for themselves whether to go home or to the other side of the world.

The pogues were hesitant at first, they really wanted to go home. But Big John was right, they had no idea what to do with all that gold. Trying to protect it legally would raise a lot of questions, they would lose the gold again, or at least most of it, before they could understand what was going on. Finally, they decided to go to Barbados with Big John, and to think about what to do with this wealth they had suddenly acquired and had never experienced before there. After such a stressful and dangerous journey, a little vacation wouldn't hurt.

When Big John said he had had a long day and needed a rest, and went downstairs, the pogues had seen this as an opportunity and thought they should celebrate. But they were so tired, their bodies no longer allowed them to stand, even though the excitement overcame it. A few beers later, none of them were in a celebratory mood, all dreaming of a moment's rest in comfort.

John B and Sarah had things to talk about, Ward's death might not have upset Sarah like the loss of a father, but it still felt heavy. She had to deal with the consequences of watching this, with what was going on in her head. John B felt responsible for helping her with this, couldn't bear to see Sarah diving away; he wanted to talk to her honestly and openly, to listen to everything that was on her mind, and to help. After a while, when their fatigue made it difficult to stay there, they retired to their rooms to rest. Others stopped deceiving themselves too, they would have plenty of time to celebrate, but this was not the time.

When everyone had gone down, they dispersed to their rooms without speaking. They expected to be in Barbados the next morning, wanting to sleep until then if possible. After Kie rolled over in bed for a while, she admitted that she couldn't deal with what she had been through with JJ at the top of the tree, and stood up quietly. She needed to talk to him, they needed to talk in an honest and mature way and understand what was going on. Kie was tired of this tide, where they were both upset at the end.

Kie didn't get a response after tapping on JJ's door, knocking once more this time harder, but there was nothing from JJ. When she opened the door slightly, she saw that JJ had threw himself on the bed without taking off his clothes, not even getting under the covers, and just fell asleep. He looked too innocent to wake up, but Kie didn't want to turn around and leave. She took a few steps towards him, slowly running her hand through the hair that was falling on his forehead. Then she felt weird about what she did, she wasn't crazy enough to watch him while he slept. She decided to let JJ rest without disturbing his deep sleep, and left the room.

Kie climbed onto the deck quietly, trying not to wake anyone. The night was chilly, and the gentle breeze blew the sea. Kie sat under the mast and tried to think of something other than JJ. She was too immersed in dreaming of what to do with the gold, celebrating the success of her first studio album, when a voice startled her.

"Hey," said Sarah. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No." murmured Kie. "You too?"

"I had a nightmare." said Sarah as she sat down next to Kie. Kie was trying to look into her eyes, trying to understand a little bit of what she was feeling. But she couldn't, there was no way she could understand what Sarah was going through.