Dear Diary...
Ever since my dad announced that he & my stepmom were gonna get a divorce, I've just had this bad feeling. Not about them, but about myself. Like, he announced it the day after my lil bro & I got grounded last month.
Somehow, I feel like it's my fault the 2 of them decided that they wanted to get a divorce. Since then, I've just been wondering if I'm what caused them to make that decision. It's also caused me to wonder if that's the reason why my dad & mom got divorced when I was about 4 yrs old.
I don't understand! Why do I feel this way? It's not my fault, now is it? I shouldn't be feeling so shitty over this, but I am.
Tf is wrong with me? This is what I wanted, right; for them to get divorced? If so, then why do I feel so awful about this? It's a change. I thought it'd be good, but I guess not. It'd be better than staying with her, right?
I don't wanna move to Connecticut & live with my aunt & cousins. I don't wanna leave my friends here in California. I don't wanna go to the other side of the damn country. I wanted to finish high school here & get enrolled in a decent college. I don't have any plans for what to do once I graduate, but possibly finishing high school in a different state isn't what I wanted.
If I could cry, I would. If I could get a mental breakdown, I would. But by this point, I've just feeling too numb to even feel angry. Slight annoyance is the best anybody could get outta me these days. Maybe some excitement if they're lucky. Everything feels so fake, can't I just feel something real that isn't anger for once?
From, K
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Dear Diary
General FictionDaily rants & vents from the perspective of a queer Gen Z teen who was cursed by being born in the 21st century [[Authors note: Tries to upload once every few days]]
