Burn out ✔️

Part 6

"You're what?!" she suddenly heard someone yell behind her. Standing in front of the OR board she slowly turned around, seeing Maggie standing behind her, Bailey not far away, Amelia observing them from the nurse station while literally everyone was looking at her.

"You seriously considering moving away to Minnesota?!" she yelled again. The room was quiet. Too quiet. You could hear everyone's breathing as if it was right next to your ear. "Maggie-" but she was cut off again. "No- I don't want to hear it. Congratulations." She said, laying so much scorn into her voice that Meredith's heart skipped a beat. She watched Maggie storming away through the door while everyone kept starring at her. Bailey just shook her head before saying: "You know I felt bad about saying what I said but right now- I'm really not sorry anymore." Before following Maggie close behind.

Meredith felt tears starting to well up in her eyes as anyone kept starring at her. Amelia seemed to notice pretty quickly how Meredith suddenly shut down and quickly walked over to her sister, grabbing her arm and leading her away from the staring crowd.

On their whole way into the next on call room Meredith kept her head down as she was only moving because of the slight pressure of Amelia's hand on her back. She brought Meredith into an empty on call room and made her sit down on the bed before taking a seat next to her. "You okay?" she asked, looking at her from the side.

"Why do they hate me so much. It's my decision I don't- I mean- I get that Bailey's mad and I somehow also understand why Maggie is but- it's my life, not theirs." Meredith rambled, closing her eyes to prevent her tears from escaping her eyelids. "They don't hate you they just need- time to cope with it." Amelia said, trying to calm her down a little. "Why aren't you mad at me?" Meredith suddenly asked, looking at her sister, opening her slightly red eyes again.

"Why would I be? Like you said it's your decision. You're my sister, I want that you're happy. And if you're happy there then that's fine with me." Amelia said, smiling a little. "What about you and Kai?" Meredith asked, smiling a little now too. "Well- if you would move to Minnesota I would have one more reason to come there more often. Not that I need a reason just- one more reason."

"You're rambling." Meredith chuckled, quickly wiping her eyes. "Well- we're taking it slow but- I like them." Amelia answered, her smile getting even brighter. "I'm glad that you're happy." Meredith whispered. "I'm glad that you're happy too."

"Thank you." Meredith said, looking down at the floor. She was happy that her and Amelia were finally at friendly terms and could talk to each other about things like that. "Just try to avoid them for a while, they'll come around at one point." Amelia said, getting up again. "See you later." She added, before disappearing around the corner again.

Meredith sighed before standing up as well and immediately getting a little dizzy so that she slowly sat down again, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened her eyes again she rolled back the sleeve of her lab coat and took a look at her smart watch, seeing that her pulse was at 118.

She laid down on the bed, closing her eyes again, concentrating on her breathing to get her pulse down a little.

__________

Seven hours later she came out of the scrub room after finishing the last surgery for today. She was beyond tired. During the surgery she hadn't even noticed how exhausted she was because of the surgery high and the fact that she was too focused to acknowledge any of her feelings which made her even more aware of her tiredness now that she started to relax again.

Also, she hadn't really been able to do anything that she had planned to do except the surgeries. But right now, she was too tired to go back upstairs into the lab and all she wanted to do was go home, pack her suitcase and go to bed. Tomorrow was Friday and she would finally see Nick again. A small smile played around her lips while she walked back into the attendings lounge.

She opened the door and almost immediately her smile vanished. They were all here, sitting at the table, looking at her. Bailey, Maggie and even Richard. Meredith sighed as she already felt her pulse going up again, her heart pounding heavily against her rib cage. "Please don't." she said weakly, walking further into the room and over to her locker.

"Are you really still thinking about taking the job?" Maggie said, trying to say it calmly but failing completely. "I've made my decision." Meredith said coldly, taking out her bag with her clothes. "Meredith your whole life his here, you grew up here. In this hospital." Richard said and the expression on his face was pure disappointment. "That's the point. I grew up here. You still see me as a five-year-old and Bailey sees me as a stupid intern." Meredith said, trying to sound as confident as possible, hiding her shaking hands by clutching her bag closer.

"Your mother would be so disappointed." Richard whispered and this was the only thing to mention to sent her over the edge. "Stop bringing my mother into every single moment of my life! She has nothing to do with this. She is dead! I don't care what she could've thought." Meredith yelled, knowing that this was a lie.

"Meredith Grey you are not taking this job! You are not moving to Minnesota! Think about your poor kids! Their life is here! Think about when Ellis took you to Boston, do you want to do the same to them?" Richard yelled back, now fully enraged.

"Are you saying that I'm a bad mother?" Meredith asked harshly, obviously hurt by this. Richard didn't answer. "You don't get to say anything about every single detail of my life. Not about my job, not about my children, not about anything! You are not my father!" Meredith yelled, her breathing getting faster and faster. "Why are you all trying to make decisions for my life? My fucking life! You have no say in any of this. And it really hurts that you are all behaving like this because I love all of you. So much that I hate yelling at you but please just stay the fuck out of my life and decisions." She yelled. Her head was spinning. She was sweating, her breathing way too fast as she was starting to feel dizzy again before all of the sudden everything went black. 

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