Burn out ✔️

Part 12

He stood in the kitchen, preparing a tea for Meredith and himself. It was the middle of the night but she wasn't able to fall asleep so that he had decided to stay awake with her although she had been trying to convince him to just go to sleep for multiple hours. She was tired, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she had too much on her mind. Too many worries and sorrows that kept her awake. They had arrived at his house at 11pm and he had suggested that they would eat something since Meredith hadn't eaten anything the whole day but she had claimed to not be hungry ad went straight to bed.

He turned off the electric kettle and carefully carried the two cups upstairs. Taking a glance at the clock in the living room he saw that it was already half past three and that they would be extremely exhausted on their way to the cabin if they wouldn't get any sleep now.

He made his way through the hallway and to the stairs, climbing them, carefully not to spill the tea. Walking into his bedroom he saw Meredith still laying in the same position he had left her in. Her eyes were closed but he could tell from her breathing that she wasn't asleep. "I got us some tea." He said, setting one of the cup down at the nightstand on her side before walking back over to his side, sitting down on the bed. "Thanks." Meredith mumbled, sitting up very slowly, taking the cup into her hands. At he yawned for the millionth time that night Meredith looked up at him and said: "Please go to sleep I don't want you to stay awake just because I can't fall asleep." She said, watching him as he took a sip of his tea. He looked up at her, sighing.

"You need to get some sleep Nick, please. I'll be fine." Meredith said, looking at him with big eyes. He could see that she was exhausted and he felt bad for her. "Come on lay down, you'll be able to fall asleep now." He said determined, pulling her down onto the mattress with him, spooning her from behind. He pressed a soft kiss into her hair, hoping that she would finally fall asleep since they had a two-hour car ride planned for tomorrow.

He could feel her heartbeat since his cheek was laying against a vein in her neck. It was fast. Faster than his own. He felt her cuddle against him, burying herself into his arms as he pulled the blanket up around them to make sure she was warm enough. He fought against sleep that was trying to come over him to make sure she would really fall asleep and wasn't just letting him sleep while she would be alone with her thoughts that would make her miserable. He forced himself to keep his eyes open and listen to her breathing that wasn't slowing down at all. A whole more hour passed and she still wasn't asleep but it was getting harder and harder for him to stay awake so that after a while he fell sleep, leaving her alone still wide awake, not able to block out her thoughts and get some rest.

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When he woke up it was already 9 am, Saturday morning and Meredith was gone. He was alone. He sighed, feeling bad about falling asleep. He slowly got up, taking a shower before getting dressed and making his way downstairs where he could already smell fresh coffee. Walking into the kitchen he saw that Meredith seemed to have already made breakfast since the table was set, she had made coffee and fresh orange juice. She had also made porridge with fruits but she wasn't in the kitchen either. He walked over into the living room, seeing her on the couch, her eyes closed. He wasn't sure if she was asleep so he quietly sat down in the armchair next to the couch, observing her.

"Morning." She mumbled, opening her eyes. She had dark circles beneath her eyes that were slightly reddened. "Morning, did you get any sleep?" he asked concerned, already knowing the answer by her appearance. She just shook her head, not wanting to look at him. He also was a little bit tired but at least he got to sleep for five hours while she hadn't slept a single second. "You made breakfast." He observed, smiling at her as she finally looked up at him.

"Yeah, thought I would do something that's actually helpful once in a while." She said sarcastically, trying to laugh a little but her tiredness overwhelmed her so that she just yawned instead. "Don't say that Mer." He said, standing up and reaching out to take her hand to pull her up as well. They walked into the kitchen, both sitting down at the table. "Thank you it looks wonderful." He said, trying to light up her mood a little as she took a sip of the coffee. "Wait until you taste it. It's probably disgusting." She mumbled and he thought that her cranky mood could be a result of the lack of sleep so that he would have to live with it.

"I'm sure it's good." He said, picking up the spoon and trying it. It was actually pretty good. "It's great Mer, really. It tastes amazing." He reassured her, rubbing her hand that was laying on the table. "Mhm." She mumbled again, starting to eat as well. He had no idea what to do or to say so that he just continued eating, not saying anything, not wanting to risk her getting mad at him which was now maybe more likely to happen than usual.

They ate in silence for what felt like an entirety. He knew that Meredith didn't mean to be cranky and say what she said but she hadn't slept the whole night and he just whished that she would fall asleep in the car again. It would mean that her sleeping schedule was messed up but he would rather have her fall asleep in the car than not at all. And he hoped that some time far away at the cabin would give her the opportunity to relax and get some things sorted out. He didn't expect anything or promised himself something from this little trip, all he asked for was that she would get better. He had already planned some hikes they could do as well as some other activities while they had been on the plane.

After breakfast they cleaned up the kitchen before he quickly went upstairs to pack a suitcase while Meredith called her kids. Her suitcase was laying open next to the bed on the floor. Looking into his own suitcase he grabbed a shirt she had stolen every single time they would spend the night together and laid it into her suitcase before closing both of them and carrying them downstairs.

He also packed a few snacks he found in the cabinet over the sink and downloaded the playlist Meredith had been listening to on the plane so that he wouldn't have to waist his mobile data and she could listen to it again if she wanted. He loaded the suitcases into the car and took a few blankets that he laid onto the back bunk as well as two pillows and the snacks. His goal was to make this trip as comfortable as possible for her so that he had to think of everything that she could need. Thinking of everything that she could need he sprinted back upstairs and though Charlotte's old room into her bathroom, opening the cabinet and getting everything he could find that a girl would need when she would get her period as well as some ibuprofen.

After putting everything into the car before going back in to get her. He found her laying on the couch again, her eyes closed. He now noticed that she had showered this morning since her hair was still slightly wet. She was wearing a comfortable black leggings, a beige oversized shirt and a thin grey sweat jacket. "Mer? You ready to go?" he asked, stroking her hair, making her open her eyes again. "Yeah." She said, and for the first time today she was smiling tiredly.

He took her hand in his and lead her out of the house, grabbing the keys and locking the door behind her. "Wait- my suitcase I-" she said and it was obvious how distracted she was again. "I got it, everything's already in the car we're good to go." He soothed her, kissing her lips softly, his hand around her waist. As they parted again she was still smiling and he kept his hand on the small of her back, leading her over to the car. He really hoped that this little trip would somehow make her feel better again.