Burn out ✔️

Part 28

"Dr. Hamilton?" Nick said, holding his phone to his ear. "Dr. Marsh it's good to hear from you. Are you calling to tell me that Dr. Grey has finally decided to move to Minnesota to work with us?" he heard the voice of his chief on the other side of the line.

"No, actually. I'm calling because of something like- the opposite." Nick replied, not sure how explain this. "What do you mean?"

"You know that Mer- Dr. Grey had been under immense stress the past few months because of the shortage at Grey-Sloan and the- well, mixed feelings of her employees. So, you remember that this stress caused her to have a gastric ulcer... well, she's been getting better but now it has been kind of getting worse again." Nick said, coursing himself about how he was trying to talk about what happened to Meredith.

"What happened is Dr. Grey okay?" Dr. Hamilton asked, obviously concerned. "No, not really. I'm not meant to tell you but- Meredith has suffered a seizure from too much stress and sleep deprivation. She's fine and will be discharged today but it probably would be better to postpone this decision about the job a few weeks." Nick said.

"Oh my god that's terrible. Please tell her she can take all the time she needs. That woman cured my Parkinson's I will forever be in her debt. Our doors will always be open for her she can still start working in three or four months from now. She's welcome to start working whenever she's ready. And I can sign you out for a few more weeks and find a temporary replacement if that would help." Dr. Hamilton offered, making Nick sigh in relief. "Yes that would be a great help. And I'm sure she'll like to hear that the offer will be still there after her recovery." He said, a small smile on his face now that at least one person seemed to be on their side.

"Okay, good. Take good care of her Marsh. And of yourself as well. I still need the two of you." Dr. Hamilton said. "Thank you, and I will. Bye." Nick said, before hanging up again. He was glad that this had gone so well and he could now tell Meredith that she had nothing to worry about anymore.

He walked back into the big building, taking the elevator to get onto the second floor. When he arrived at Meredith's room he carefully opened the door, not sure if she was asleep or not since he had been gone to get lunch from a takeaway restaurant nearby. It was the next day after Meredith's seizure and today they would make the decision whether to keep her here in the psych ward or discharge her.

The whole evening yesterday Meredith hadn't talked a lot to him and mostly had been laying in bed, zoned out and wrapped up in her thoughts. She hadn't slept a single minute the whole night until he had made her take a sleeping pill at two am in the morning. She had then slept for about five hours before waking up, shivering with fear and drenched in sweat. It had taken her a whole thirty minutes to calm down again since her general fear had been supplemented with the fear of another seizure.

As he walked back into the room her found her awake, staring into the distance, completely zoned out. "Mer?" he asked carefully, hoping that she wasn't having a silent anxiety attack or something and was really just- thinking. He put down the containers with their food on the table before sitting down on the chair next to her bed. Her eyes didn't move a single inch, making it obvious that she hadn't even acknowledged his presence.

He just looked at her, taking in all of her features. And all he saw was what she had gone through the past few months. She had been diagnosed with Burnout Syndrome, had a gastric ulcer, had been diagnosed with anxiety, had had multiple panic attacks and now even a seizure. And why did all of them happen? It all didn't made sense.

"Mer?" he tried again, laying an arm on her shoulder. She was wearing her long-sleeved Dartmouth shirt and a pair of sweatpants he had both brought yesterday. "Meredith can you hear me?" he asked, a few tears welling up in his eyes as she didn't respond. It almost seemed as if she was in a catatonic state. He sighed and gave up trying to get her attention. She was too far away with her thoughts. He just hoped that whatever she was thinking about was something positive, something she wouldn't have to worry about.

Amelia had stepped by with the kids yesterday after he had been able to convince Meredith that they won't care about that she couldn't talk very well right now as long as they would know that their mother was okay. They had stayed for about two hours and the kids told Meredith about school and kindergarten while Meredith had just enjoyed listening and cuddling with them since she had been pretty exhausted even though sleep was avoiding her.

And this semi-awake state she was in now wasn't exactly sleeping. But maybe she was somehow resting. "Meredith? I brought some lunch. I got sone chicken noodle soup, you're favourite." Nick said, putting a strand of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. And it worked, she blinked a few times before looking up at him. "Hey." She whispered, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, I got us some food."

"Mhm, good. M'little h-hungry." Meredith said, smiling at him what warmed his heart a little because it showed him that his Meredith was still somewhere in there. She sat up on the bed and he moved the table so that it would be between them and they were sitting opposite each other.

"Chicken noodle soup!" Meredith said happily as nick opened the two containers. "Yep, and for desert I got us a piece of an extremely good strawberry cheesecake." He said, making Meredith giggle as both of them thought back at the time they had baked one themselves which hadn't went that well. "Well, won't be as good as ours." Meredith said, making him chuckle happily. She was laughing and talking again. That was at least something.

"I uhm- called Hamilton." Nick said after they started eating. Meredith's head immediately shot up as she looked at him with fear in her eyes. As he noticed that her breathing was getting a little quicker and shakier he quickly grabbed her hand. "Don't worry Mer, he was very understanding. I told him what happened and he said that you can take all the time you need for your recovery okay? He said that you're always welcome to start working whenever you want." He said, hoping it would calm her down to know that everything had been taken care of and there was nothing she had to worry about. "Not mad at me?" she asked with a tiny voice.

"No, no one is mad at you Mer." He said, smiling at her reassuringly. "You-you didn't tell- ab- tell him about psych ward, right?" Meredith asked, speaking very very slowly to get every word right since she was determined to get her speech back as soon as possible. "No, I didn't. Have you decided yet?" he replied. He wasn't sure whether he wanted her to stay here. Of course it would help her but he also wanted her to come home and be able to spend time with her family.

"Mhm-mhm." She shook her head, taking another spoon of the soup. "Don't want to be here. But- I want get- to get better." She said, correcting herself quickly. "I want to stay home. With you and the kids. No cabin, that wouldn't go well." Meredith chuckled sadly as he sighed. "Don't worry about it, maybe at some point in the future again." He said, hoping she wouldn't overthink this too much.

"What's on your mind?" he asked carefully as they have been eating for a whole five minutes in silence already. But again, she didn't reply. She had zoned out. Again. "Mer?" he asked patiently but she was completely frozen, one of her hands on the table, the other one still holding the spoon. Since they had finished their soups he now decided to pack them away into the bin in the corner before carefully taking the spoon from her, what also didn't pull her out of her thoughts. As everything was cleaned up again he walked back over to her, very carefully guiding her back into bed and helping her lay down what finally pulled her out of her trance. "What?" she asked confused as he tucked her into the blankets before sitting down on the bed as well. "You zoned out again, it's okay." He said, smiling at her slightly. "Oh." She said, looking away a little embarrassed.

"Come here." He said, laying down on the bed next to her and pulling her into his arms. "It's going to be okay Mer, you'll be fine. It'll probably take a while but I won't leave you alone okay? I'll be there the whole time if you want me to." He reassured her, hoping that she would fall asleep soon. He heard her take a deep breath before snuggling further into his embrace, closing her eyes. He lovingly placed a kiss on the spot beneath her ear, taking in the scent of her hair. She was still there. And he wouldn't ever leave her.