Burn out ✔️

Part 31

"I know." Bailey replied quietly, looking down, avoiding Meredith's gaze. "What?" Meredith asked confused, taking a sharp breath since her heart suddenly started to hurt from talking so fast and so loudly while at the same time she was just seconds away from having a panic attack and bursting into tears. But that would have to wait, she would have to pull herself together for now.

"I know what I did. And I have to admit that I made a mistake." She added, making Meredith's jaw drop. She hadn't expected that at all. "Stop! Wait, don't say anything!" they suddenly heard Nick's voice from the door. He was completely out of breath, bending forward as he was trying to breathe what made Meredith smile small.

"Don't even try to say something. You're not hurting her any further. Come on Mer, we're going home." Nick said, slowly starting to breathe a little easier again. "It's fine Dr. Marsh. I just said that- I admit that I'm wrong. I made a mistake." Bailey said and now it was Nick's turn to be stunned. "What?" he asked confused, looking from Bailey to Meredith who just shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm really sorry for how I've treated you. I saw how much you worked whilst I was gone and that you even shortened your income to save the program. Of course, I will pay you back on what you didn't get paid yet."

"You don't have to I don't need the money. It's fine. Keep it, use it for something meaningful." Meredith said quietly, still overwhelmed and confused by Bailey's sudden and unexpected apology. "So- we're good again?" Meredith asked after a few seconds of silence. "Yes, we are." Bailey replied, smiling small.

"No, that's by far not enough. Do you even have the slightest idea of what Meredith went through those past few months what she-"

"Yes she knows I just shouted it at her. Again. Before you arrived." Meredith said, chuckling quietly, looking at Nick from the side. "But still, just saying 'we're good again' isn't enough of an apology." Nick added, looking back at Bailey. "It's fine Nick. It was partly my fault as well. I wasn't taking care of myself enough you can't blame everything on Bailey." Meredith said, smiling even brighter as she felt Nick's protective hand on her back.

"As much as I love you Grey I have a lot of work today and if you're just going to talk to each other you might as well do that outside." Bailey said, already returning to her old self what made Meredith giggle. "Goodbye then." Meredith said, grabbing Nick's hand and pulling him with her out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"You okay?" he asked as they stood outside the office. Gently he cupped her cheek in his hand, stroking it carefully with his thumb while wiping away her tears. "I'm good. I'm so relieved I- I don't even remember what happened it all went so fast." She said, sniffling quietly.

"You just ran out of the house what made you so angry so suddenly?" Nick asked, also feeling some sort of relief as he saw her smiling so happily. "I had a dream. That Bailey died and I never got the chance to talk to her and tell her how I felt and that it just made everything even worse. Dr. Wyatt said that if I wouldn't talk about how I felt and just- let it out that it would never get better. But she was right and you were right too. I feel so much better now. Although I'm pretty sure I'll start crying any second because I just yelled at my chief and that really wasn't easy. Well I've yelled at her before, once but back then I had a panic attack and-"

"Stop rambling Mer." He said, shutting her up by kissing her lips softly. But suddenly he was the one starting to tear up. "What's wrong?" Meredith asked confused, pulling away from the kiss. "I just haven't heard you rambling in so long. It shows me that you're slowly starting to be you again." He chuckled, kissing her again. She just giggled against his lips, making that warm feeling he hadn't felt in such a long time suddenly warming his veins, making butterflies appear in his stomach.

"You amaze me Meredith. And I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself." Nick added, his hands going around her waist as she laid hers around his neck. "What do you think about going home and- taking a shower? Together? The kids won't be home for another three hours." He suggested, pulling her into another passionate kiss. "Sounds perfect." Meredith mumbled against his lips, deepening the kiss hungrily.

____________

Later that day Meredith and Nick were laying in bed together after putting the kids to bed. "You okay Mer?" he asked since she had been silent for over ten minutes now and had just stared up to the ceiling. "I- I think my hormones are just a little messed up. Because of the anxiety meds. I feel like I have to cry but I don't know why because now, everything is fine." Meredith said, tears starting to stream down her cheeks as she slowly turned towards him. "Well, although you talked everything through with Bailey still not everything is fine. You're anxiety issues won't just go away and experiences like that are still overwhelming and challenging. Don't be too hard on yourself okay? It'll take time. And if you feel as if you need to cry, just cry, I'm here for you." Nick replied, pulling her into his arms and letting her breakdown as she started to sob into his chest. He just continued to hold her, rubbing her back and kissing her head from time to time.

"Feeling better now?" he asked after he cries had subsided a little and she was starting to calm down again. "Mhm." She gave back, nodding against his chest, cuddling further into him. "What about we start making plans tomorrow? How we'll arrange the kid's rooms, how we'll decorate them and whether we're going to move into my old house and stay there or if we just move there for now and build a new one?"

"You'd want to build a new house?" Meredith asked surprised. "Yeah, I mean we would also have enough space in my house now but if you really want to start over completely I'd be open for change." Nick replied, making her smile. "You're amazing, you know? But I love your house and we have enough room there as well. So, if it's okay with you we could just stay there?" Meredith asked quietly and he noticed that she was getting sleepy. He just needed to keep talking to make her fall asleep. It would be so great to get her to fall asleep right now already.

"Sounds good to me." Nick gave back, applying some more pressure onto her nerve system to ensure her that she wasn't alone, that he was with her and that everything was going to be okay. "At least we can leave in peace now. Bailey doesn't hate me anymore." Meredith mumbled sleepily, yawning afterwards. "She never had a reason to hate you. But you're right, everything will be alright again." Nick said silently, kissing her forehead once again. "I love you."

"Love you too."