'Why Him?' || Madeleine x Espresso

chapter 14, Temporary

It has been a couple of hours since the whole battle thing, and Espresso has been getting nothing but love taunts from his lover. Considering he's never been in a relationship before, this was difficult to tolerate.
"Madeleine, could you stop for a moment." Espresso angrily sighed. Madeleine pulled him into a little snuggle position on the sofa.
"Egh-"
"I'm not gonna stop just yet, you need this, Espresso." Madeleine said, holding his lover close. Espresso indeed did need this little moment, but he was still upset. He tried to wiggle his way out of Madeleine's grip, but wasn't successful. Madeleine just kept him close. This went on until Espresso just had enough. Espresso turned his body to face Madeleine, and what he saw was a little creepy. Madeleine was just staring at him blankly. The mage raised an eyebrow.
"What are you looking at?"
"You, duh."
"Don't be smart."
"I love you too." Espresso couldn't help but scoff at his partner. His responses always made Espresso feel weird. They kept on staring at each other for a bit until Madeleine just smiled at Espresso. The mage turned a little red while covering his face with his sleeves. Who could have known that Madeleine's smile could make him feel so flustered.
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Moments later, Espresso found himself asleep in Madeleine's arms. The Paladin smiled. "I can tell he's still exhausted." He whispered under his breath. Madeleine had noticed that ever since they have confessed, Espresso has been feeling a lot more loveable than usual. It's not really like him to be this attached to Madeleine after ONE moment of an important event. Take Christmas for an example. Madeleine had gotten him a new magic book, and Espresso was more clingy than a toddler around their mother. It's like Espresso only does this to...please the one he wants to- uhm, please? He isn't quite sure. Now that he's thinking of this, he doesn't feel quite right. He doesn't wanna pressure Espresso, but he does need answers. Madeleine gently removed Espresso's arms from his waste so he could move. Once he was free, he sat at the foot of the couch. "Does he even love me?" He thought. "What if he's just doing this because he knows I'll be happy. What if he doesn't want this at all. What if-"
"Madeleine..?" The knight quickly turned his head to Espresso. He heard his raspy call out since he just woke up.

"Oh, yes Espresso?"
"Are...are you alright? You look upset."
"I'm perfectly fine my dear, no need to worry."
"But you look-"
"I'm alright, don't worry about me." Madeleine blankly replied. Espresso scattered his hand around the sofa; trying to find his glasses. Once he found them, he put them on. "You look upset," Espresso said "Just tell me what's going on, maybe I can help you," Espresso sat down at the foot of the sofa next to Madeleine. The blond looked at Espresso and sighed. "Espresso," he started,

"Do you even want this relationship?"

Espresso hesitated. How did Madeleine know what he was thinking about? Espresso cleared his throat. "Well ... I um." Espresso murmured. Madeleine was now getting impatient. "Well? If you don't want this, then it's fine."
"No! I just! Ugh, it's complicated okay."
"How is it complicated? It's just a yes or no question."
"You don't know the feeling, Madeleine." Espresso responded. Madeleine sighed.
"Espresso, please. I don't wanna pressure you!"
"I do want this, I really do. I'm just not used to it I guess."
"Well, you could have said that.." Madeleine mumbled. Espresso was holding onto his lovers hand. "Madeleine, I've never done this before. Of course it's gonna be different. Maybe not for you, but for me, I've never even been this much loved since I was younger. You know that,"
"Indeed I do, and you do know I love you. Right?"
"Of course I know, and I love you as well! I just think that relationships are...well. Pressuring."

"Pressuring?"

"What do you mean by pressuring? You think I'm pressuring you?"
"No! Mads, listen-"
"No, you listen to me. I know you don't want this, Espresso. Just tell me how you feel, I can help you...even if I can't do my best, I'll at least try! I don't want you to fe stressed because of this.. I know I've caused quite a lot, but I can change, I can change for you and you only!" Madeleine said, gripping onto Espresso's hand. The mage felt a bit uncomfortable. "Madeleine..." "Espresso, please."

Let me change for you.
I can change for the better.
I can change our future.
I can change-

"Enough!" Espresso swiped his hand away. "You can't change for me, you can't change at all! Don't change for someone as useless as me! it's stupid of how you could think that, Madeleine." Espresso slightly yelled, slowly scooting backwards. Madeleine stood there. Frozen. He stared at Espresso and smiled. "Just let me do this for you," "No! Madeleine, just stop!" Espresso grabbed Madeleine's shirt collar and pulled him close. Madeleine frowned. "Espress-" "Don't "espresso" me. You listen to what I have to say for once. What you think is what you think, not what I think. And if you have a problem with the way I think, then...you can just leave. And you were right about one thing, I wasn't even prepared for this relationship! I'm not even ready for it yet...I know I started this all and it was stupid, but, I should have thought before I did my action. I'm sorry Madeleine, but this is only temporary..."
The room went silent. Madeleine was tearing up along with Espresso. "So, you don't want this...?"
"Not now."

...

"It's only temporary..."

HEYA SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO SHORT I WAS JUST RLLY OVERTHINKING OVER THE WEEK BUT IM SORRY 😭