dreams to reality

19.

The next day.

I stayed the night at Ellie's and georgias so we could spend the day together before Janine leaves. It was really sad but there was nothing we could do, it's a great opportunity for her and I know none of the girls want to get in the way of that. We did have training to worry about first, "you got your stuff" ellie says laughing, "not funny" I say trying to hold back a laugh.

We eventually left and Georgia was asking me how I feel, I was quite good at hiding my emotions whenever I felt like I wanted to, I told her I was fine but I knew deep down I wasn't. I feel like I'm trapped, my lifestyle is on repeat and I know it's apart of football, the training, the media, tactic sessions but I feel like I have no time afterwards to chill and have fun with the girls, I mean I feel so much closer to them because of the last few days. One thing I've been hiding though is I feel alone, I know I have great teammates and friends but leaving my childhood and my mum in a hospital bed is not something I wish upon anyone.

"Bella were here" ellie says getting out of the car, I snap out of my gaze and follow her in. Me and the girls went out seperate ways from Janine as she had to get her ankle checked out. We had a recovery session and a meeting about the game, everything went well and according to plan so everyone was in a great mood.

"How is it" I say catching up with Janine who is hobbling into the changing room, "4 weeks in the boot" she says a little disappointed. "I'm so sorry, I feel so bad" I say genuine. "It's not your fault you don't need to apologise" she says with a forced laugh. We get changed and get some lunch, "how long have you got until you leave?" I ask Janine as I take a plate of pasta. "Roughly 4 hours" she says as we sit down next to the others.

It was quiet for a little while, I got a phone call and had to excuse myself.

'Hello?'

'Hi Bella it's me Katie'

'Oh hi Katie what's up'

'Erm well I don't know that whole story but Leah has been really upset and I thought you'd know what to do to cheer her up?'

It went silent.

'I'm sorry Katie I can't do anything, it isn't my problem and I have bigger problems to deal with right now'

That was a bit harsh.

'I understand sorry to bother you'

'It's fine, bye'

She's the one who messed up, if she didn't think I was cheating it wouldn't be like this, this 'break' wouldn't be necessary.

It was now time for us to drop Janine off at the airport, most of the team said their goodbyes at the airport but I was invited to go with them, I have gotten really close to her over the past few days, I really enjoyed her company.

Tears were flooding down ellie and georgias eyes, mines were a little teary. I said my goodbye first, I told her to keep in touch and if she's ever in England again to tell me and we'll work something out. The other girls were next and I couldn't understand a word they said, they were just sobbing which I completely understand.

I took a photo of her and the luggage before she left and posted on my insta story.