dreams to reality

38.

We arrived at the party and were greeted by the staff, I recognised a few from my time with the youth. I had a conversation with a few people before going to grab a drink. Leah was at the bar talking to somebody so I snuck up behind her and sat beside her. "Perfect timing, Bella this is  lynne. Our photographer, lynne this is Bella" Leah said introducing me to the lady beside her. We spoke a for a little while until Leah dragged me up to dance. Quite literally everyone was dancing and she didn't want to dance without me. This moment felt like time had froze.

Leah leaned into my head to speak as the music was so loud. "Can you sing" leah said and I looked at her confused, "like go up to the band and sing" she added and my eyes widened. "Leah I don't know about that, I've never sang in front of this many people" I replied. "I'll be here, baby your so good. You have nothing to worry about" she's right, I don't have anything to worry about. I nodded and Leah got so excited, she dragged me though the crowd and got to the band. She explained to them how she wanted me to sing one song and nothing more. They were hesitant but I mean Leah's captain she gets what she wants.

"What song?" I asked Leah and she didn't waste a second before replying, "always and forever" she said and I laughed. "That's too slow lee" I said giggling, she rolled her eyes. "Okay then daydream believer" she said and I smiled. "Deal" I said and took the mic. The music that was playing went off and everyone was looking at me, I got really nervous but when I looked at Leah she mouthed 'you got this' reassuring me. "Umm hi everyone, firstly congrats erm but I'm up here because your captain has decided she wants me to sing for you" I said and the city girls all cheered. They'd heard my voice before so it won't be a surprise to them. "So erm yeah. Here it goes" I said and the music started to play.

As I sang the song I saw Leah at the front with Georgia and Keira singing and dancing along. She watched me basically the whole time. When it ended everyone cheered and Tonney shouted we want more making everyone laugh. Then booing as I got off the stage. Leah came over and wrapped her arms around me, "that was so good my love, I'm so proud of you" she said into my ear. "Thanks baby" I replied as the band started to play a song.

I went and sat down getting a drink when Beth came up to me. "Your voice is so good bella" she said taking the seat next to me, "thanks Beth" I replied. "You and Leah are really cute together, I'm glad yous are fine. And now your gonna be at arsenal we're definitely gonna win the league" she said and I gulped, I smiled before looking down. The reality was I've been hiding something, nobody knows not even Leah. I couldn't tell Beth when Leah doesn't even know. "Yeah we're good, she looks after me" I said looking at her on the dance floor. "Anyways, you and viv. I'm happy for you two" I said and Beth's smiled got bigger, "yeah, I don't even know how it came about. Things just fell into place" Beth said and I smiled at her, "sometimes that's the best way" I replied.

I felt like I'd had enough of watching them all celebrate, I know it's for Leah and I know all these girls, from youth or club etc but it still hurts when my country didn't even make it out of the group stages, it isn't any easier when it's England either as both countries Scotland and England hate each other.

"Baby please stay and celebrate, this is your moment. Have fun and I'll see you when you get home. I love you" I said outside about to get into a taxi, "okay, I love you I'll see you soon" she said as I got in.

I spent the rest of the night eating and watching  friends. I knew Leah would be out late so I went to sleep knowing she'll be in later.

It was the middle of the night I can only assume when I hear the front door open, I heard a loud laugh but then a bunch of shhh's. I put a Hoodie on before walking downstairs, I looked into the kitchen and say Beth, Leah and G. "Bella!" G practically screamed, running over to me hugging me. "Hello to you too" I said rubbing my eyes, I looked at the clock and saw it was 6:50. "Sorry about waking you" leah said picking up good I left for her on the counter, "it's fine. No biggie" I said going over to hug my girlfriend. I heard Georgia make a fake sick noise which made me and Leah both giggle. "Okay you guys better get some sleep, spare bedroom is at the top to the left, I've only got one so you'll need to share" I said to Beth and g. "It's okay I need some cuddles" g said as Beth hugged her, we all laughed before they went upstairs.

"You need sleep as well, let's go" I said taking her hand walking upstairs, when I shut the door of my bedroom I helped her get changed. As I got into bed alongside her she wiggled her way into my arms, I smiled to myself. I played with her hair until we both fell asleep.

***

"We've got to go out flights boarding" I said to Leah who was finishing her drink. We booked a holiday in Spain for a few days, I only had 3 days more until preseason but Leah has a week so she's going to Ibiza for a few days with tooney and a few of the girls.

We eventually landed and got in a taxi to our cabin thing. It was like a bungalow with the beach behind our garden, there was fences at each side of the bungalow but it was open along to front where the beach was. It was beautiful, Leah obviously picked it out.

We dropped out bags in the room and went to get food. I was quite frankly starving, airport food is not the greatest.

We grabbed a few things and headed back to our room, the food came in tubs to take away which I though was convenient. "Lee please move over" I said before sitting on the chair beside her. She laughed before moving over. "So what do you want to do tonight" Leah said looking at me, I smirked at her. "Apart from that..." she said with a chuckle, "probably just chill out on the beach" I said looking outside. "Yeah it looks really nice out there" Leah added. "Yeah I want to watch the sunset" I said and Leah agreed.

When we finished our food we grabbed towels and pillows and put them down on the sand. We brought a few snacks and drinks, Leah sat down and patted the ground for me. I sat beside her before I cuddled into her. "I think I can stay here forever with you" I said looking out into the ocean, "me too my love, me too." Leah said rubbing my arm.

Everything wasn't fine though, Leah had no idea that I might be going to barca. It was this gut feeling that hasn't left me since the quarter final, seeing Leah come up against some people that can become my teammates. Nobody knew about it, it was just me, Jonas and my agent. It was kept under the wraps. I love arsenal, I love Leah, I love the team but that feeling when Jonas put me out on loan triggered something. I want to adventure, I've been at arsenal for so long I needed change. If I stay with arsenal i know everything will just be normal, wake up, train, food, meeting, sleep, no exploring or anything fun as I've grown up there. But Barcelona is different, I could learn the language, travel around exploring on days off. The only thing throwing me off not going is Leah. I can't lose her and if I go I feel like I will. I don't want to be apart but this is my career and I want to get the most out of myself. It's difficult so difficult.

My thoughts were racing around my head I didn't hear Leah say my name, "Bella you've been zoned out for ages" she said and my eyes widened, "sorry just lost in thoughts" I said awkwardly. "What's going on?" Leah said, she knew something was up. "I'm fine baby" I said as she sat up. "Your not and I know your not" she said turning me around, I was now on top of her hips looking straight into her eyes.

I don't know how to tell her.

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