dreams to reality

20.

It's matchday against Aston Villa, Gareth has told me to have a break this week. I went down to London and sorted out a few things with my mum, she has never wanted to have a big funeral so I agreed with my aunt that we would get her ashes and spread them over the river along from her old house, she grew up there and I feel like it would be special.

It was really tough spreading them, I couldn't stop crying, this is the most pain I've ever felt. My teammates have been really supportive and have helped me so much, Janine has spoke to me also, she's gave me a few messages a we've spoke on FaceTime a lot, I also got a message from Leah which I was quite thankful for.

I was staying at ellie ans georgias so I quickly got ready to leave for the game. I was just gonna be sitting in the stands so I took a cover with me because it was quite cold.

The warm up looked good on our half, everyone looked very up for it which is always good. I saw Anna warm up with Aston Villa, she went out on loan at the start of the season so it's nice to see her again. I'm sure I'll catch up with her later. I went down beside the dug out as the girls went back in to get ready, "good luck girls, you'll smash it" I said as they went passed.

Soon it was kick off time. The first half went very fast, we done really well and went in with a 3-0 lead at half time, goals from caz, bronze and hempo. Gareth made a change at half time Georgia for hempo, I think she pulled up so I think he didn't want to risk it.

The second half started strongly again, we were winning 4-0 in the 55th minute, he made a few more subs to get girls some game time. Ellen came off for Chloe, who went to play cf instead of winger. Raso came off for Jess park.

It was the 62nd minute and Jess was running down the wing, she went past 2 players before crossing it to Georgia who hits a volley into the top left corner. What a goal. I saw Georgia running over and I went down to the dug out, she hugged me and said "that was for you and your mum Bella" I could of burst out crying at any moment, all I could say was thank you before she ran off again. I had a tear in my eye when I sat back down next to Steph who was injured. She gave me a hug and the whistle went to go again.

The game ended 6-0, a well deserved clean sheet for Ellie also. I went onto the pitch and caught Anna, "how's it going young one" she says hugging me, "eh could be better and I'm 19 now, not that young anymore" I say making us both laugh. We chat for a while and eventually head inside, it was a good catch up.

"Bella? Bella." I hear from behind me, I turn around confused and see Ellie standing there. "What's up els" I say sitting down on the bench, "erm do you- no it doesn't matter. It's stupid. I'll talk later" she says a little stuttery. "You don't normally get all nervous you have to tell me what's up" I say not letting her walk away. She stops and goes to speak, "does Anna you know er like girls?" She says making me a little confused, "yeah why?" I say. It takes me a while to notice, my eyes widen "you like an-"she cuts me off, "shut up, don't go screaming it about" she says making me laugh. "Sorry. But I really thought you were straight" I say, "I thought so too, I just feel something different with her but I don't want to go for anything. I don't want to ruin our friendship" ellie says, I know how she feels.

We walk to a less busy area, "Well I think you should make small talk with her and see how it goes and if it goes well then I don't see why you shouldn't go for it" I say happily. "Thank you Bella" she says before walking into the tunnel again, I assume anna was there so I just left her too it and went to speak to Chris the assistant coach.

"Bella how's it going?" He says with a warm smile, "I'm getting there, and you?" I reply. "Yeah I'm good, so I assume your head to talk about international break?" He says making me laugh, "You know it" I say. "We'll we know you've spoke with Pedro but England we're in touch and they want you also" Chris says which really surprised me. I didn't think England would want me, "I've already chose Scotland so I have to turn them down" I say to Chris. "We'll Congrats Bella, I'm very happy for you" he says making me smile, "thank youuuu" I say giving him a hug. "I'll see you after the break then" he said, "yep, bye Chris" I say walking away.

Tomorrow at noon I had a flight from Manchester to Edinburgh and then that night I we fly over to Spain for our camp. I'm really nervous but also very excited. The teams come out in a few hours so I decided to get dinner for me, ellie and Georgia. They said they would make their own way home so I picked up food for us and headed home.

When I walked in they both got really excited, "foooooood!!!!!" Georgia shouts, "thank you bels" ellie says and I smile. "Are you going straight to Spain?" Ellie asks me, "I need to go to the oriam in Edinburgh for media things and I think most of the girls are gonna come to Scotland then leave" i said taking a sip of my water.

They basically asked me question after question until we finished our food, I loved how they were so interested. It was now time for the squads to come out so we all sat in front of the tv watching sky, the England team was named first and both Georgia and Ellie obviously got in. Then scotlands squad started being announced, the last name to be announced was mine.

'and the final player to complete the Scotland woman national squad is a young rising talent who was eligible to play for England but chose Scotland, Bella Smith who is on loan to Man City from arsenal'

Georgia and Ellie both videod the screen and then me, screaming in excitement. They posted it on instagram and both jumped on me. "We are so proud of youuuuy" Georgia says eventually getting off of me. "Yeah we are" ellie says making me laugh.

My phone started to ring, I looked down and saw Lisa was phoning me, i excused myself and answered it.

'Gal, You didn't tell me you were picking Scotland!' She said basically shouting down the phone.

'I knowww I'm sorry, i don't think I've told anyone apart from a few city girls'

'Does caz know?'

'No I haven't told her yet'

'Well the group chat is going mad I'm gonna add you'

'Hahah okay'

'Right I have to go but I'll see you tomorrow my wee scotch pal'

'Bye Lisa'

As soon as it ended i went back into the living room, I noticed Ellie was missing and Georgia was on the phone. "Bella you didn't tell caz?" She said, we'll I guess she was on the phone with caz then.

'I can't believe you've picked Scotland!'

'I'm so glad I did'

'Me too, I'll see you tomorrow then'

'Yup, bye caz'

I got sent an email about what's happening tomorrow and I got really excited, it was getting a bit late so I decided to get a good sleep in for a big day tomorrow.

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