drapetomania ; sam thomas

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cassidy's father returned later that night but there was no sign of her mother who was already out of town on work business. cassidy's mother was a beautiful woman. only 36, 21 when she had cassidy. or addalin as her mother still called her. her beauty didn't go unrecognised, she's actually a model. quite a popular one at that. she's done work with brands like gucci, balenciaga and was even on the cover of vogue once. cassidy had done a few photo shoots with her mother when she was younger and still occasionally went to one with her still. cassidy had her personal instagram account and a professional one with her photos from various shoots. her father, on the other hand, was a lawyer. and a great one. he had won many cases and had managed to get the house that they were living in currently by using his bargaining and talking skills.

from the outside, it looks like the perfect family. the sort of family that kids envy. but when you step inside you see all the imperfections. all the cracks. the missing trust. the missing love. the missing support. if you took away the money and the portion of fame hanging above their heads, they would be the family people would feel sorry for. cassidy's parents marriage was a mess, not in the way that they would shout and fight at each other every night. in the way that they are only still together for the press. for the camera. for the money.
they both had affairs. but they didn't care unless the reporters find out. cassidy actually had a younger sister because of this. they hadn't seen each other in quite some time. emma was three now, and cassidy was dying to see again. 

this was all the stuff cassidy was thinking of while getting ready for bed that night. she hated her mother. she truly did. but when she was home for more than a week at a time, cassidy suddenly felt like her little self again. looking up to mum, wanting to be just like her. doing anything and everything she could to please her. to try and make her stay. it never happened, but this feeling would start back up as soon as she was there again. cassidy knew it was a bad habit, but she just couldn't help it. and the comments her mother made didn't help with anything at all. her father tried. and he had definitely improved. but thinking back to what he let her mother do to her, she felt like she could never forgive him.

cassidy likes her family from the outside. and doesn't let people see the inside. sometimes she thinks that if more people saw the picture perfect outside;
that it could become the inside as well

she knows it's stupid. but she can't help it, wishing for it all to be real. for her parents love for each other to be real. for her parents love for her to be real.

buts it's not.

it's not