Dangerous games| with Sope

25

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I have never been so scared to lose someone in my whole life until I met you. You mean the world to me. You should know, that no one has ever meant so much to me as you do. So I'm not ready to lose you." He looked deep into my eyes, straight into my soul.

All these words were unexpected. I am lost, I don't know what to think, how to feel.

I was just kissing his friend...

What can I tell him?

What would be the best thing to do now?

When I don't fully understand my own feelings. Because I don't want to understand them.

I don't want to admit that I feel something more for Yoongi. Something more than for any other guy in my life...
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"I really don't know what to tell you. I haven't thought about us at all these days, about my feelings for you. Because I don't want a serious relationship, I try not to even think about us. Your words shocked me, and your behavior afterward even more. I am not ready for a serious relationship, especially with someone like you. You are part of the biggest boy band in the world. You're unhealthily famous. I really don't need all that. I think the best thing we can do right now is to try not to interact and stay away from each other. I'll admit it hurts me to see you unhappy. So please, just forget what we had, what you feel for me, and just be happy again. I want to see that gummy smile again." I could feel tears gathering in my eyes.

No matter how hard I try to deny it, Yoongi is very important to me. And yes, when I see him in front of me now, I realize that my feelings for him are much deeper. But I cannot let him into my heart. There are many reasons for that, my career, his fame, and his singing career.

"I love you, Y/n. With all my heart." Yoongi took my hand.

I was not able to breathe. I didn't know what to say. I felt dizzy.

"Yoongi... You... I..." No proper words could leave my mouth. My brain just wasn't functioning.

"I said I love you because I really mean it. You don't need to say it back, to be more precise, to say anything at all. Just know you mean a lot to me, because I love you, love you so fucking much."

Tears started to stream down my face. "Don't talk like that, Yoongi. It's not right. I do a lot of bad things with other members. How can you tell me that you love me? When I sleep with Hobi... And..." I was having trouble speaking, as I was crying hard.

"Who you sleep with, go on dates with, or kiss can't change how I feel about you." He ran his fingers gently over my cheek.

"Don't do this to me. You're making things more confusing, you're making everything harder. I'm not ready for this. I am scared. Please don't do that, don't say things like that. You cannot love me." I was sobbing.

"I'm sorry. I just had one glass of whiskey and realized I can't hide my feelings anymore. That's why I'm here, telling you everything I feel. I understand that it all started very strangely and that our lives are still complicated. But just know that I am here, waiting for you. Because deep in my heart I feel that you feel the same for me. Please think everything over and tell me your decision. Think as much as you need to. Just know that I won't stop loving you."

I sighed deeply. "I need time. For now, I like my life just the way it is. Although I'll admit, I feel something more for you, but I need time to think things through. Thank you for your honesty and sincerity. But it was surprising and I didn't expect it at all."

For a moment we just looked at each other. I ran my fingers gently over his hand.

"I'm going to go now, I'll leave you alone. Good night, Y/n." Yoongi looked at me sadly and left the room.