Dangerous games| with Sope

27

——
Maybe I should forget about Yoongi and continue the journey with Hoseok and Jungkook?

Or should I end it all with Hoseok and Jungkook and dive into a relationship with Yoongi?

But can things still be good with Yoongi? After everything that has been said, done? And after all the time we haven't communicated at all?

But there is a big problem. I still don't understand my feelings for Yoongi.

But really, if I loved him, would I be able to do the things that I do?
——

The new working week was a bit more free. So I had time to think about everything that was going on in my life, what I should do with Yoongi. Because it's really time to reject him or to accept his love and build a serious relationship with him. I can't torture him any longer in ignorance and unknown.

I have been thinking for more than half a week. And I don't know if I have come up with something specific and relevant, but one thing I have realized is that it's time to call Yoongi and talk to him. Maybe I should say, more correctly, to tell him my thoughts.

It was Thursday evening.

"It's time." I encouraged myself and clicked on the camera icon next to Yoongi's name.

I thought he wouldn't answer, but when I no longer expected it, Yoongi's face appeared on my phone screen.

"Y/n?" He looked surprised.

"Hi." A modest smile appeared on my face.

Yoongi looked at me in surprise and said nothing.

"You probably didn't expect to receive a call from me." I laughed nervously. "So, I had some free time this week and I've been thinking about you, about us and my feelings... And although I haven't decided anything very particular yet. But I've decided that I want to call you and tell you my thoughts that are running around in my head right now."

"I am listening to you. I'll try not to interrupt you." Yoongi's gaze was locked on me.

"I'll start by saying that yes, I do feel something more for you than for example for Hobi. Could I call it love? I very much doubt it. Why? Maybe the main reason is that I don't allow myself to love. Or maybe the reason is something else. Maybe it's more than friends with benefits, but not enough for love and a serious relationship. The second thing I would say is that I think if I really felt something more for you... I wouldn't be able to do the things I do with Hoseok. And on top of that Jungkook and our flirting were added to the picture. And to be completely honest with you, we kissed a few times. Adding up everything I do with other guys, it would be hard to say that I have anything more than friendly or sexual feelings for you. These main thoughts don't give me peace and just haunt me every day, every free minute. Even though somewhere deep down at the edge of my heart a completely different thought, totally different feelings are trying to escape. Sometimes it seems that I'll drop everything and fly to you with the first plane and jump into your arms and kiss you. And that I just want to spend all my time with you. To conclude how I feel..." I sighed deeply. "I'm torn in two and I don't know or understand how I really feel. Sometimes it seems like I should push you away and continue the adventure with Hoseok and maybe Jungkook. And the next moment it seems that I should end all relationships and flirtations with others and try to build a relationship with you. But despite everything, one thing I understand is that my career is a priority for me. Not sex, not long-term relationships. But work. And as for you Yoongi, you are a producer, part of the BTS group. Do you have time to build a serious and solid relationship? It takes commitment, time, and energy. But you are also concentrating on your career. Let's face it, neither for me nor for you the relationship is in the first place." I went silent. In my mind, I was trying to figure out if I had said everything I wanted to.