Oceans [A.Shelby]

THIRTY-SIX

THAT EVENING as the entire family sat down for dinner, it was Theo that noticed the complete change in his sisters demeanor as she shuffled her fork around the plate without putting a single forkful to her mouth.

Theo nudged his sister in the side who glanced over at him.

"Is something the matter?" Theo asked his sister, the usual witty response absent, even her lips were absent of their usual colour and her face seemed completely drained.

Lillian shrugged her brother off, shaking her head before her chair scraped against the floor, all heads turning to the woman and Lillian left the room hastily.

The family glanced between themselves, Dora speaking up, "does anybody happen to know what's wrong with her today?"

Nobody could respond because truthfully, nobody did know for the woman had came home; went straight to her room and only left when dinner was called.

"Perhaps I should phone the Doctor," Dora frowned.

"No Doctor just yet, I shall go and speak with her." Faith offered, giving both Edward and Theo a glance.

In the past two years Faith had truly become like another daughter, another sibling. With the exception of her courtship with Edward of course.

Lillian sat at her vanity table, glancing at herself in the mirror, eyes darting to her left hand every so often.

She heard a light knock at the door, and in her pitiful silence the slightest noise made the woman jump.

Reluctantly she allowed whomever was behind the door to enter, revealing themself to be Faith.

"Oh, it's just you," Lillian replied, Faith could hear the relief in her voice, "better then my father or mother prying"

"Lils, we're all worried about you. You didn't touch your dinner, you haven't spoken a word to anybody since lunch this morning. Is there anything the matter?" Faith questioned softly.

Lillians lips opened and closed, like a fish before she busied herself with taking the clips out of her hair, letting her natural curls fall one by one to resume its usual length.

"you are so lucky," She murmured softly.

"so lucky to have a man who dotes on you without hesitation, with all the spirit and love he could muster. Who would never dare look twice at another woman because all he can see is the one right in front of him." Faith frowned as she watched Lillian through the mirror, her face void of any emotion other then the most saddening kind.

There was something in Lillian's throat, waiting to escape as her eyes became watery and she finished her monologue, "A man who keeps his promises, who wouldn't dare lie to you. And if it was his last moment in this world, all he would think about is you. Your life together and everything you have given up for him."

Faith ran her fingers through the womans hair like a loving sister, "you deserve those things too,"

"you're right, I know I do. I was young and impressionable and I met a man who gave me everything I wanted for a while, that's the trick of life. Nothing can last forever, and if it does you're one of the lucky few."

"I wont ask what has happened, for I know it'll only upset you. But know this, you are strong, the strongest woman I know and you have never let anything nor anybody defeat you. Don't allow it now." Faith told her, wiping the wetness from under the blondes sad blue eyes.

There was a quiet frosty pause as Lillian removed her jewellery, "you're right."

"I wish I didn't have to say these things to you, I know things have been difficult since the war, but I thought things were well with your child on the way."

"as did I, Faith. As did I." Lillian stated, "you can tell my mother she cannot waste the doctors time, for I do not need one. Physically, I am well."

It was around 10pm, the house was settling into their beds as was Lillian. She lay in the middle of her bed, something she wasn't accustom too. Her child kicked away, as she lay there she could even see her stomach moving, that alone made the woman smile.

Once her child was born, she was sure her worries and burdens would not wash away but simply become less important. She wouldn't fail her child like she felt she had failed in her marriage.

It was at the same hour, as Lillian had finally began to smile after the day she had experienced that there was a small knock at her door.

"Lils," Theo murmered as he poked her head in, "Arth's here. He won't leave until he see's you."

The blondes lips set in a straight line, a sigh escaping her lips before she climbed out of her bed, shrugged her robe around her shoulders and followed her brother.

Arthur's sober eyes glanced up at his pregnant wife who stood on the stairs, refusing to step an inch closer.

"Lils," He spoke in the softest, buttery voice he could muster, "I fucked it, I fucked it again and I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I know I'm no good, you deserve more. You do."

Her straight face didn't waver with his words, that surprised the man. Her eyes were so hard, he wasn't sure if they would ever soften with his gaze again.

"You fooled me, Arthur Shelby. I knew you was trouble, and yet I still love you. You defy me, you betray me and I still forgive you every time. This was your choice. You chose this. You chose your lifestyle, the drugs, the drink and the women over your family and that is something you have to live with. Not me."

Arthur glanced down at his hand, her ring in his hand as he opened his palm so she could see, stepping closer to the staircase.

It was the ring that made the woman falter, not the man. It wasn't a particularly spectacular ring, and certainly didn't value much in money. But it's value in other words, was significant.

From the minute it was placed on her finger, when she walked back down the aisle; when she fiddled with it as she discovered her husband was going to war. Every day for those 4 years she found solace in the metal.

"I want you to keep it. It's yours and it always has been. I'll wait for the day that you trust me enough to put it back on." Arthur turned around to take his leave, Lillian's last words lingering in his mind.

"Will that day ever come?"