Oceans [A.Shelby]

ONE

Small Heath, Birmingham 1919

AS LILLIAN LAID AWAKE, she glanced over at her husband of 6 years; Arthur Shelby. How life had changed for her the second she fell for this man. This man was the complete opposite to her, he couldn't offer her much money, but he could offer her himself, and had promised to adore her on the day of their small wedding. Her parents were not in attendance, however, her sweet older brother Theo was. How she missed him. The only one who wasn't entirely against her relationship.

Theodore May went missing in action while serving in the war in 1917, which meant the youngest May child would inherit the family busines, after Lillian forfeited it the day she married Arthur Shelby.

She wouldn't have changed it regardless, her life now was in stark contrast to her life in 1912, there was never a dull day with the Shelby family, so she quickly learned even before she married Arthur, while she was making as many excuses as possible to stay at the Warwickshire estate. That was, before her parents discovered what they named as a 'scandal'.

Though her relationship with her parents now is much different to what it was before Arthur, the family had managed to mend itself, slowly, giving it's credit to Theo's demise.

For two years, Arthur and Lillian were in what Polly Gray called the 'honeymoon phase' before it came crashing down when he was called to serve in the war, for 6 months, or so they were led to believe.

Lillian very vividly remembered the last words she spoke to Theo when she visited her family after the news that both her brothers and her father would be serving, and they haunted her.

"Theo, I've only just found him. We only married last year. I need him in my life, I don't want him to leave. And what if you, Ed or father don't come back.." Lillian panicked, the young woman rarely lost her composure in this sense.

"If Arthur doesn't come back you can remarry, Lils." Theo told her, his words sparking anger within his only sister.

"If he doesn't come back? Have you heard the insolent words that just came out of your mouth? He is my husband, and I love him and you wish him dead so I can go back to London? I can't bare the sight of you right now, I hope that's a good enough of an answer for you"

He came back, Arthur Shelby returned from the war. Except, he was no longer Arthur Shelby. Not the man she married, not the man who whispered sweet words in her ear, held her close to him at night, spent most waking minutes with her. He was no longer the faithful husband she had loved. Her Arthur no longer existed, but if he did, it was only on a rare occasion. He loved her in some way, of course, but everything had changed. Completely.

At least, that's what Lillian understood. Lillian lost her husband to the war.

"Arthur," Lillian whispered softly, rolling onto her side, stroking his stubbly cheek.

"Wake up darling, you have work within the hour," She told him softly, before a quiet sigh escaped her lips and she slipped out of bed, slipping on her disregarded slip from the night previous.

Arthur showed his love in this way; sex. And in other ways. But it was unlike before. His eyes had grown hard, and so had his heart.

Arthur only grumbled before turning onto his other side.

"And you wonder why Tommy's taking over the business," Lillian mused quietly.

"I 'eard that," She heard his gruff voice at last.

"And I heard Thomas is going with Monoghan boy to dabble with the powder trick."

"Fucking what?" Arthur spat, seemingly wide awake.

"You can thank me later, breakfast will be on the table if you have time for it," She told him, leaving the room with a small smirk on her lips

•••

Lillian sat at the kitchen table with Polly, both looking over the books, Lillian correcting them.

"Are they alright?" Polly asked her as she caught Lillian staring blankly at them.

"Hm?" Lillian questioned, her head snapping to the older woman.

"The book that you've been staring at for 10 minutes, is it alright?" Polly asked again.

"Of course, there's nothing wrong with it," Lillian replied, closing it and putting it to one side.

"So tell me why your face is as blank as Tommy's was when he tried to give a speech at your wedding." Polly asked her.

"Do you ever think we'll get them back, from the war?" Lillian asked her, Polly's eyes searching the womans face.

"The men are different now, and what they saw, is something we can only imagine. If this is about Arthur-"

"No it's not just about Arthur, it's them all, my father and brother, when I walk down the streets I see men who have lost themselves, they're just a blank canvas, you can hear men screaming at night sometimes, from the nightmares"

"You can wish for them back, how everything was before but that would be naive to the changes. You might get your husband back, in little pieces, but Arthur's never going to be the same." Polly placed a hesitant hand over Lillian's before pulling out her cigarette tin, passing one to Lillian before lighting them both.

"Now, enough of this, we've worked to do. An' Arthur's called a family meeting at 8." Polly waved the conversation away and both the women got back to looking over the books.