More Than Love (NG3)

37 - Alone

On Saturday morning, Sasha slipped on her shoes to go for a walk on the beach and get coffee. So Reed wasn't coming; she enjoyed solitude. He needed her through the years, but she shouldn't need him. These were part of her new montage she played in her head.

She stepped onto the porch and breathed in the fresh, salty air. The humidity had broken overnight. The warmth promised a hot day. It was peaceful with only the sounds of nature, robin chirping, the surf in the distance. Some mornings, if she was up early enough, she could hear the fishing and lobster boats motoring out.

A car interrupted her solitude. She shook her head as Davis stepped out. He had a huge smile compared to her slight grin as he held up two cups of coffee.

"What happened to calling first?"

"Do you have a man in your bed?" Sasha shook her head. "Big plans for the day?"

She had nothing scheduled except to enjoy the waning summer.

"No, but we had an agreement."

"Reed's busy all weekend. You're alone. I'm alone. I have coffee."

"Did Rick notice you?"

"He always tells me he keeps an eye on you. He thinks I'm checking in on you."

She rolled her eyes. "He's old school thinking a woman needs a man."

He had helped her out. When her roof leaked, he sent Alex right away. She shoveled her own tiny driveway, but on big storms, someone would help shovel her out. Once last winter it was Patrick's son and his friends. The three teen boys reminded her of when Reed came to stay with her.

Davis shrugged before she turned and he followed her into the house. "He remembers your accident. I took care of you then and still do."

"I don't want rumors getting back to Reed."

"That's where we differ. I'd like to tell him."

She shook her head. Tell him what? The last time she saw Davis, she refused to sleep with him. Maybe Davis and his bouts of unfaithfulness were what she deserved. Maybe it was karma for what she did to Jake. Pushing aside the turbulence in her mind, she smiled and took the cup he offered her. Her first sip of coffee each morning was sacred.

His comment sat uneasy in her ears. "Why don't you understand? I'll never fully trust you."

His familiar eyes dulled. "But you love me."

Love, yes. In love, not a simple answer.

She rubbed her eyes with one hand. "I'll always love you, but that doesn't mean we are meant to be together."

She was forty-three. Was it too late for her? Patrick crossed her mind again.

Davis took her hand. "I regret never giving you a child."

Could he see her thoughts? She stood and paced. "A child who would have witnessed that awful night and the aftermath. Another child of divorce. You have one. The best thing you ever did was not have more. Collect wives, but not children."

Davis put his hands up against her attack of words. Emotions bubbled within.

"I only ever wanted a child with you. Let's forget about the past and enjoy today."

She sighed. "I planned to walk on the beach."

"I'll join you."

She grinned and shook her head. Davis was never a beach walker. He would sit on the beach for an hour, tops. The man didn't know how to relax. Maybe that's why he turned to women and sex. He should have taken up yoga or tai chi or meditation.