Toska| MICHAELxREADER

29| sentences

1st person, Michael POV

=======

I felt sick.

I dont know what's wrong with me. why I'm saying so many things, doing so many of the wrong things.

I don't have any reason to be upset. not right now, it's not my place. I get it, I'm overwhelmed. I blame myself for everything that has happened in the past few days, and I  allowed to be upset with myself, but I just took it out on someone who didn't deserve it.

I sit down on the bed, pulling my.legs up so I could sit criss crossed. I felt embarrassed. so much so that it made my stomach hurt. I knew They wouldn't be talking to me for the rest of the day, even if I attempted to apologize. The way I acted invalidated them.

I lay down, my legs bent. my eyes hurt. my chest ached.

I heard them shuffling around in their room. the walls were thin, and the bedrooms were right next to each other.

I squirmed. I was uncomfortable. what do I do? what do I think? how do I make this better?

why am I being the problem?

I wanted to make it up. make it better, in a way. hold them. kiss them. Apologize. but I'm sour.

I knew I was on edge. I knew how close I was to popping. I knew that any kind of valid attitude they would give would are me angry.

I cant process feelings. it's like they're just..
circling a drain. over and over and over again. I get upset. I yell. I get violent.

I have a breakdown and I take it out on them. I'm too weak tempered to help myself.

I dont want to be a baby. thats shameful.

anytime they are above me. I'm just an insecure little boy.

I make them cry. they may be the bigger person, but I'm louder than they are. bigger.

I sit up, so fast that it makes my head hurt. my low iron deficiency makes it difficult to stand, and I feel like I may pass out as I make it onto my feet. thankfully it passed fast.

I leave the room, but I froze in the hallway for a few minutes. do I go to them, or turn and go into the main room? give them space and let them stay upset? let them think I Hate them? despise them?

I turn to my right, looking at their door. it was closed obviously. the light was on, but the knob was turned, which meant it was locked. I wouldn't walk in without knocking first anyways.

I take a deep breath and tuck away that fragile masculinity, then stride to their door. I hesitated, then knocked three times. I didn't get a response.

I knocked three more times. I hear a very disgruntled huff.

"stop knocking on my door." They said lightly.

"can i-"

"leave me alone."

"I don't want you to be mad-"

"well thay sucks, doesn't it?" They scoffed. "you're a cunt. leave me alone."

I stared at the door whenever they called me a cunt. that was...a very vulger slur...

"I didn't mean to put my hands on you, Y/N. I-"

"I don't give a crap what you meant to do." They cut me off again. "you're being an irrational little baby and it's not something I need to be around. not right now. I'm not your bloody nanny."

"I won't be able to sleep well with you staying mad at me-"

"then don't sleep, for all I care." Their tone became Stern. I knew they were right on the other side of the door. I could hear them clearly.  I leaned my forehead against the door, groaning to myself.